I once believed that there was no limit.

I could do anything and be covered by my Savior's blood.

I thought the rules He spoke were for others.

It wasn’t for me! How could it be?

But, for those who had not accepted His love.

I would say foul things daily.

Maybe even on occasion cursed in Church.

I would party all night on Saturdays.

And, either sleep in on Sundays or stagger into the house of God late not completely sober.

Thinking all along I was okay. I was under his grace.

For, he died for me and I have a right to this place.

O, I know you’re not sitting in my seat!

I sit there every Sunday. Pastor expects to see me.

Even in all that bad attitude and disposition,

I just knew he continued to forgive me regardless of the situation.

Quick to say, God knows my heart. And yes to that I agree.

He knew how black and cold it could be.

Despite my inability to ask for forgiveness and repent,

I thought there was no limit because I proclaimed, declared, my love for Him to the end.

Then one day not long ago I learned the truth.

The truth of how I continued daily to abuse You

By my actions and my deeds.

My behavior was just as bad or worse than the actions of the Pharisees.

I was living a lie. I dishonored the Christian creed.

I was bad and I was not a representation of You.

I was spoiled. A privileged Christian singing Jesus Jesus always calling out to you.

But never really willing to give up the things of the world.

That true sacrifice. I wanted it all not just the cake but also the rice.

Not only did my heart ache when I realized my mistakes;

But, my thoughts raced thinking of all my examples of wrong.

What about the people who watched me?

Who did I lead astray?

Lord forgive me.

So now I write and I write. Knowing, I have much to do in this fight.

I give You my all.

I want only to serve You.

I pray Your truth of Salvation is spread all over the world.

For me, there is no rest only dedication.

Now, I am truly a Jesus Girl.