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Safe (?) Spaces

What a boys' bathroom, high school Bible study, and College Democrats have in common

Sara Auger

Oct 31, 2016

Emory University

The Harvard Kennedy School Citizen

At Emory, freshman have to endure the once a week, 50 minute nothing class. The faculty calls it PACE. We call it pointless. As I was wracking my brain for something valuable to say this week, I had a flash back to this class. One comment in particular, about safe spaces. The gist of this girl's thought is one that sounds really nice: everyone should be welcome and feel safe everywhere. The professors nodded appreciatively, but one guy disagreed. "Everyone is not meant to be welcome everywhere."

That got some shock from the more... sensitive among us.

However, in my quiet back-row way, I completely agree.

Now, I'm probably going to get a lot of cringes from the PC millennial generation for thinking that, but it's true. Obviously, some spaces should be safe for everybody. Places like a classroom. Dining hall. Library. Everyone should feel safe i these places, and their own dorm room or bathroom.

But I shouldn't feel welcome in the boys' bathroom. Guess why? Cause I'm not welcome in the boys bathroom. That is not a space meant for me.

I'm also not welcome in a support group for people who've been sexually assaulted, because I haven't been, and I;m not what that group was created for. I'm not welcome in a Bible study for guys, or for college graduates, or for high school students, because they're tackling issues that I'm not and I don't need to know about.

Before you get mad about it (if you are) think about it another situation. If you're a Black Lives Matter activist at a rally, would you want All Lives Matter supporters there? Would you want a BLM rally to be a safe space for ALM activists? Probably not. Or take America's least favorite people (but favorite "Baby It's Cold Outside" duet) Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

I guarantee Hillary's safe space doesn't have Donald Trump in it, and he wouldn't be welcome in her safe space (and vice versa.) Hillary wouldn't be welcome in my safe space either, and I wouldn't be welcome in a lot of safe spaces (here's looking at you, College Democrats.)

And that's okay. It is okay to not be welcome everywhere. It doesn't make the "intruder" bad, it doesn't make those intruded upon bad. It's like when your towel falls in the communal bathroom. It's no one's fault, but shouldn't we do our best to avoid it and be polite when it happens?

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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