Being social has never been easy for me. I've always felt a little out of step with even some of my closest friends, and I never feet like I knew the right thing to say. Every night, I go over everything wrong I said that day, every time I was even the slightest bit awkward. I assume people don't want to talk to me, or even like me, unless they make it abundantly clear, and so I can often come off as cold or disinterested. It is for these reasons that I often find myself exhausted by social interaction.
Which was exactly why everyone who knew me was shocked that I had decided to rush a sorority.
Frankly, I surprised myself when I decided to rush. I had just become a resident assistant that year (which had been another cause of frequent anxiety in and of itself), and it had helped me grow in ways that I couldn't predict. Suddenly, I had a support system of ten wonderful people on my staff, who I felt comfortable going to for pretty much anything. Not only that, but I worked with three girls involved in Greek Life. Each is wonderful and impressive in their own right, and one of the girls — who is now my sorority sister — is someone who I admire a lot and I consider to be one of my closest friends.
Without the growth that my RA family gave me, I never would have even considered joining a sorority. However, that doesn't mean that rushing (or even the decision to rush) was an easy one. Fear of the unknown, of the social element that was, naturally, crucial to rushing almost stopped me more than once. I would have to go to these events with a group of girls, whom I had to convince I was good enough to be in their sorority. I considered the idea of not getting invited back. I considered the idea of not getting into my first choice, Alpha Gamma Delta. Both concepts terrified me; it felt so final, like such a rejection. What would I do if they didn't want me? What would I do if no one wanted me?
But something happened. With each new event, my friends from every sorority were excited for me. Even if I hadn't chosen their sorority to continue on the rushing process with, they were so excited for me to join Greek Life. Every single sister from every single sorority that I talked to was so warm, friendly, and encouraging. Not only that, but I was always invited back. Every single sorority I went to asked me to come to their next event. To people who have rushed before at Alma College, that probably doesn't seem very surprising. But to someone with social anxiety, who spends a lot of time being sure people are just being nice by talking to her, it was shocking.
By the time the process was almost over, I felt more comfortable. I was absolutely relieved that I would be done dressing up and trying to seem impressive. I didn't feel anything close to the terror I felt originally. The last two sororities I ended up rushing were Phi Sigma Sigma and Alpha Gamma Delta. Both groups of girls were amazing through the entire process, and I had made friends in each, so I felt pretty comfortable. Even still, AGD was my first choice. I knew that I belonged there, and I just hoped that they thought so, too.
It turns out, they did. The feeling of getting a bid for my first choice was overwhelming in the best possible way. They liked me. They wanted me to be their sister, their family. It was different than getting hired for my RA position, as life-changing as that was; this was personal. They met me, knew me, and still wanted to take me in. Then, when I ran to meet my new sisters at walk outs, I was shocked by the warmth I felt. That amount of blatant love and acceptance from my peers was something I had never been on the receiving end of before.
Now, any time someone asks me about why I love Alpha Gamma Delta and my sisters, I feel just on the cusp of bursting into happy, grateful tears (at one ceremony in particular, I did, hard). After just being a pledge for a month, and now being an initiated sister, they have given me so much. So, if you're considering joining Greek Life, but you're scared or hesitant, I strongly encourage you to go for it. I can't promise it won't be terrifying, but take the risk. The gains are beyond worth anything you could possibly imagine.
