I'm curling my hair at 4 am.

Why am I curling my hair at 4 am? Am I feeling randomly inspired? Am I an avid sleepwalker who curls her hair during her slumber? Am I just absolutely insane? No.

It's recruitment and I have landed on the other side.

I am a sophomore in a sorority preparing myself for hours of conversation with strangers who may end up on the lawn of my sorority on bid day. Being on the other side of rush this year has opened my eyes to many things, positive and negative. Let me indulge you.

Hahahahaha you think you get no sleep when you go through recruitment.

I am really bad at waking up early. My body and brain yell at me as if I have mutilated myself when I wake up before eight. Every early morning wake up call of recruitment this year resulted in a more intense headache and a crankier disposition on my part. Last year we had to wake up early, but I forced myself to go to sleep early every night.

This year I was having a slumber party with 80 girls in the sorority house every night and recklessly bingeing Game of Thrones. Therefore, I have probably had the most irregular sleep schedule this week than ever before in my nineteen years of life. I am exhausted. Brb, I'm going to take another nap.

Yikes, I have to represent a huge group of girls.

Being a rushee means having the freedom to wear what you want and present yourself however you want. Granted, you want to present yourself positively and accurately, so you won't be wearing a trash bag, (come to think of it I could've bc I'm literal trash) but you get to make all of the decisions on how you are portrayed.

When you are part of the sorority rushing the girls, however, you have pressure on you to represent a whole sorority in how you present yourself. Your conversation with a girl could be her single way of defining what your sorority is like as a whole. That's intense. When you come into recruitment as a rushee, you aren't even aware of the fear and anxiety and exhaustion that faces the smiling, cheering, "confident" sorority girls that are rushing you, because you yourself are full of emotions. It was rough trying to be the face of the sorority!! It's tough, man!

Both sides of rush are full of decision making and anxiety about where girls go.

I thought being on this side of rush meant getting who we wanted. Rushees make just as much of a decision as we do. Girls are deceptive. They tell us they want to go our sorority so so bad and then drop us. That sucks. I wasn't ready for that heartbreak. When I went through rush, I would get mad when sororities dropped me and couldn't wait to get to make more of the decisions on this side. Both sides cut. Both sides are disappointed. Let me dry my tears before I move on.

There are a lot of things to keep up with.

Yikes don't let that PNM take the water cup out of the house or it's considered a gift. Don't lose your name tag. We could switch to rain plan at any time. Get downstairs quickly. Don't say a peep before the girls come in the doors. Don't stand on the sidewalk you drop the girls off on.

Don't. Touch. Anyone.

Figure out who they are, where they're from, what organizations they were involved in, what their favorite aquatic mammal currently is, and what style of sock they prefer. You have ten minutes. Go.

Yeah, I think you get the picture.

Rush is tiring and I hate it but I also can't wait for next year and wow today is bid day this is the most amazing day of my life wow what a time.

By the end of it, most of us only hold on to the fond memories and move on. I think rush is similar to most memories on the back end. The results are always rewarding and celebrating the new girls is exhilarating. I am currently writing this article on bid day, and I CANNOT WAIT FOR TONIGHT.

I have spent this week complaining and crying in the shower and second guessing myself as a human, but I have also spent it getting to know new, beautiful Athens residents who want to hang out with me and my friends. I am on the edge of my seat just typing about the exciting night I am about to have. 80 or so new humans are going to get off a bus tonight and go from just being random humans to new friends who I get to make memories with.