You're In Your 20s, Why On Earth Would You Rush To Grow Up?

You're In Your 20s, Why On Earth Would You Rush To Grow Up?

Everyone from my hometown is getting married and having kids, meanwhile, I just finished the whole series "Sex and the City" in two weeks.

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Everyone in college is always talking on social media about how "everyone from their high school is getting married or having babies." When they say this, they are probably referring to the 2 or 3 people from their graduating class that got knocked up or randomly tied the knot. When I tell my friends the number of people from MY hometown getting married and having babies, they are shocked. I am not exaggerating when I say every week someone new is posting on Instagram or Facebook that they are pregnant or engaged. I can't even keep up with it anymore.

This could be because I come from a relatively small town surrounded by cornfields and not much to do other than hang out at the local McDonald's. However, this is one trend I just can't get behind.

I understand we are at the age where we are starting to become adults in the real world. We need to start paying our own bills, making our own doctor appointments and doing our own grocery shopping. All that good stuff. I guess I just missed the part where this meant it was also time to buy our own house, move in with our boyfriends, and start having kids? While it is true that we are getting older, we are still so young. At the ages of 20 and 21, we should be worried about passing accounting and what parties we are going to this weekend, not what our wedding dress is going to look like.

We have our entire lives to be married, have kids, and have a career. We only have a limited window to be on our own and do all the fun things that make us happy, before we have to do the things that make our kids and our spouses happy as well.

Our early 20's are not a competition of who can grow up the fastest and act the most mature. It should be a time of fun and excitement where we let loose a little before we really do have to become real adults and put the college days behind us. I guess that mindset is not the same for everyone, but that is just one thing I won't understand.

I can't even wake up before 10:30 a.m. unless I have to. There is no way I could stay up all night with a crying baby, nor would I want to. I could never cook for a whole family, I just learned how to make grilled cheese last year. I could never live with a significant other, my clothes and shoes take up my entire room as it is. But this is how it should be, at least for a few more years.

Overall, I don't understand the rush to grow up and I will never agree with it. I understand that sometimes we are forced to grow up faster and it is not always by choice. Those that are choosing to race to the wedding dresses, however, are likely to go through a midlife crisis at age 30 if you ask me.

This is a confusing time in our lives no doubt. There are those starting families and buying houses and there are those that can't make it home from the fraternity down the road without throwing up in a bush. No matter what lifestyle you choose to lead at this age, it is not easy for anyone. Sometimes we all need to step back, take a deep breath, and just smile.

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To The Girl Who Had A Plan

A letter to the girl whose life is not going according to her plan.
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“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley

Since we were little girls we have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We responded with astronauts, teachers, presidents, nurses, etc. Then we start growing up, and our plans change.

In middle school, our plans were molded based on our friends and whatever was cool at the time. Eventually, we went to high school and this question became serious, along with some others: “What are your plans for college?” “What are you going to major in?” “When do you think you’ll get married?” “Are you going to stay friends with your friends?” We are bombarded with these questions we are supposed to have answers to, so we start making plans.

Plans, like going to college with our best friends and getting a degree we’ve been dreaming about. Plans, to get married as soon as we can. We make plans for how to lose weight and get healthy. We make plans for our weddings and children.

SEE ALSO: 19 Pieces Of Advice From A Soon-To-Be 20-Year-Old

We fill our Pinterest boards with these dreams and hopes that we have, which are really great things to do, but what happens when you don’t get into that college? What happens when your best friend chooses to go somewhere else? Or, what if you don’t get the scholarship you need or the awards you thought you deserved. Maybe, the guy you thought you would marry breaks your heart. You might gain a few pounds instead of losing them. Your parents get divorced. Someone you love gets cancer. You don’t get the grades you need. You don’t make that collegiate sports team. The sorority you’re a legacy to, drops you. You didn’t get the job or internship you applied for. What happens to you when this plan doesn’t go your way?

I’ve been there.

The answer for that is “I have this hope that is an anchor for my soul.” Soon we all realize we are not the captain of our fate. We don’t have everything under control nor will we ever have control of every situation in our lives. But, there is someone who is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who has a plan and a purpose for the lives of his children. His name is Jesus. When life takes a turn you aren’t expecting, those are the times you have to cling to Him the tightest, trusting that His plan is what is best. That is easier said than done, but keep pursuing Him. I have found in my life that His plans were always better than mine, and slowly He’s revealing that to me.

The end of your plan isn’t the end of your life. There is more out there. You may not be the captain of your fate, but you can be the master of your soul. You can choose to be happy despite your circumstances. You can change directions at any point and go a different way. You can take the bad and make something beautiful out of it, if you allow God to work in your heart.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Patiently Waiting With An Impatient Heart

So, make the best of that school you did get in to. Own it. Make new friends- you may find they are better than the old ones. Apply for more scholarships, or get a job. Move on from the guy that broke your heart; he does not deserve you. God has a guy lined up for you who will love you completely. Spend all the time you can with the loved one with cancer. Pray, pray hard for healing. Study more. Apply for more jobs, or try to spend your summer serving others instead. Join a different club or get involved in other organizations on campus. Find your delight first in God and then pursue other activities that make you happy; He will give you the desires of your heart.

My friend, it is going to be OK.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Beavers Photography

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Fall In Love With Failure In Order To Be Successful

Make failure your key to success.

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The world is full of 'no's.' From your parents saying no to you not being able to go out with your friends, to getting denied from the college you really wanted to go to. The word 'No' is defined as 'the negative answer or decision; getting the opposite of what is specified' according to Google.

If any of you follow Gary Vaynerchuk (better known as Gary Vee, famous entrepreneur and motivational speaker) said once that you need to 'fall in love with failure.' Accepting failure and how you handle that failure, really determines your destiny. (It does sound cheesy, but it is very true).

So many people let failure defeat them. You might say that failure might not defeat you, but inside it still does. Failure is a daunting feeling that makes you feel less than who you are. Or that you do not have enough potential for something. But here is the thing…YOU DO HAVE THE POTENTIAL FOR SOMETHING.

I love failing. I know, it sounds crazy, but I like failing. Why? Because it helps me narrow down my options, and shows me what is meant to be, and what isn't. Failure is a sign from God saying, 'No, there is another way you can do this, you just haven't found it yet. Keep pushing forward'. I am a firm believer in 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, and if it isn't, it isn't'. Failure is like your guide through life, helping you stay off the roads you aren't meant to go down. And when failure does come to you, you essentially find another way.

For example, when you apply for college, you apply to several schools. (Unlike me, only applying to one). So, when I got a response back from the college, they denied my application. I was devastated because I had painted this whole picture in my head of myself there, and that it was the 'only way' to be successful and get to where I want to be in life. Well, I let myself be sad for a solid five minutes, but then I branched out my options, knowing that it is okay and that God didn't want me to go there as well, thus why I got denied. Failure really pisses me off, but it fuels the fire/drive for success I have.

My message to you is take that failure, accept it, maybe laugh at it! You will find another way for success. Just keep working hard, exploring, and making a difference, and you will end up where you need to be, regardless of how you get there.

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