Throughout highschool I was quite the busy body. Being involved with sports & theatre, having homework every night, and working thirty hours a week made me feel as if I didn’t have time to breathe. With all these responsibilities, I had no motivation to give me all for any one of these activities besides one; running track.

As soon as my last class of the day got out I got a great feeling inside of me. Not a feeling of rejoice because I get to go home, but a feeling that my day finally gets to start. After this class I would go to the track locker room and change into my workout clothes, finally getting out of those school clothes that felt like a prison to wear. As soon as I tied my running shoes and stepped onto the track, all the problems that happened throughout my day instantly vanish. Being a person who keeps to himself, track was definitely my sport. The only team work required in track are the relays and gathering points from events to hopefully lead to a victory.

Being a long distance runner, our practices were (no pun intended) long and difficult. Some days were easier than others, but no matter what at the end of the practice I would put both hands behind my head and let out a huge sigh of relief. No matter how excruciating the workout was, I always told myself that I’m bettering myself with each step I took while running. Track made me see myself in my greatest form, and looking back at it now, I still wish I could see myself like that today.

I ran a total of three high school years in track, my senior year being my favorite. I focused mostly on the 1600m race due to it felt the best suited for me. I started the year off with a 5:45 run and improved within two months to a 4:59. With each meet I ran at, I kept seeing myself improve, my self view became greater and greater. I have never felt this great about how I saw myself.

My last race was one of my personal best, reaching my goal of getting under 5:00 in the mile run, I decided I wanted to continue adding on to my accomplishments and run at Aquinas College. I had plans to run all summer to get myself to the times I needed to reach the collegiate level of running fortitude. Unfortunately, life sometimes throws you a curveball and makes you take a 180 in life. Two weeks after my last race I was t-boned by a truck on the driver’s side of my car going 55 MPH.

This car crash left me with a concussion, bruised lungs and spleen, and worst of all a career shattering (no pun intended) fractured pelvis. That wasn’t the only body part that shattered that day, when the doctor told me I couldn’t run for six months my heart was torn to pieces. My passion, my one true love, ripped away from me for half a year, I had no idea what to do with myself.

I spent the whole summer sitting in my room playing video games and earning workers comp due to not being able to work because of my injuries. For a while it was nice, but here and there I would look out my window to see the sun shining, kids playing outside, and it would hurt me a lot inside. I needed to feel the cool breeze in my hair as I run, my shoes pounding against that sun-parched road, and the feeling of putting myself to my limits and then just a little bit more.

Six months ran its course slowly, and I was ready to tie up my shoes and hit the road once again. For some odd reason I missed the chilly, night winter runs. I truly felt to myself due to no one is usually out and about at this time of night. I put my hat on along with my gloves, my high school track pants, a Detroit Tigers hoodie and I began my run. The run was only a total of fifteen minutes due to me being out of shape, and when I came back to my room I laid on my bed, as tired as tired can be.

This is when I began to realize I will probably never run competitively for a school again. It would take me months to get back to where I was before my accident, and who knows how much time it would be to get to a collegiate level athlete status. I knew with needing good grades for my major and working a job to keep up with college payments this would be near impossible for myself. At this moment I decided to hang up my running shoes for the competitive aspect, and only do it for fun.

It saddens me deeply to know I’ll never race against someone again unless it’s a public 5k, and that it’ll be incredibly difficult to see myself as I did when I was in track. I still like to run here and there, but I am working on finding other activities that make me happy with myself, writing being one of them. When I finish an article, a paper, or just a creative piece, it is similar to how I would feel after a practice or race. I get a feeling of accomplishment, I did something that I’m really proud of. I’m building my self-confidence up to the way it used to be when I ran, and hopefully through writing and some running I will see myself like that again.