Running. We’re not all good at it, but it is something with which we are all familiar. The way I see it, there are two different reasons for running. First, we physically run for exercise. Second, we mentally or emotionally run to escape something.
Now I don’t know what you’re going through, I don’t even know your story. However, I do know that it is common to mentally or emotionally put yourself in a place in means to escape from something. This could be done accidentally, but for me, it wasn’t.
I am used to running. Not the physical kind, the mental kind. Sometimes, this kind of mental running can eventually influence my actions and decisions. This kind of running easily becomes tiring, frustrating, confusing, uneasy, uncomfortable and often overwhelming.
My problem: I tend to run from God.
It all began when my selfish desires got the best of me. These desires were not of God’s will and I knew it. I knew what I was doing, yet I still did it. I became disobedient, not wanting to live according to God’s desires for me. I wanted to live in control of my life. That’s when I ran. I ran towards what looked like happiness, but over time became emptiness which in turn, became shame and guilt.
This is when I became upset, upset that I had run because I was no longer joyful. I was no longer optimistic. I didn’t know who to put my trust in. I looked back, seeing who I was, disappointed that I purposely let go of the most steadfast love I knew. I had intentionally let go of comfort, peace and pure goodness given to me by the one who crafted me so gently. I looked back and saw the God I knew so well who was undeniably present in my life, all from a place that felt incredibly far from God.
It took a long time for me to realize that God never left. Although I wandered, He didn’t give up on me. When I am in the valley, He is there. When I am on top of the mountain, He will find me.
Human faith is not perfect. Often, we find ourselves in these valley places. In the valley we can easily get caught in the mix of life, struggling to see God and the things he’s doing around us. The mountain experience is when we feel like there is a thin layer between Heaven and Earth, a place close to God. It is completely normal to go between the mountain and valley place because we are human. We are imperfect made by a perfect creator. However, being on the mountain is like a breath of fresh air. It is frustrating standing in the valley, looking up to the mountain.
Often, people have a hard time understanding why it is so difficult to experience the grace of God in the valley. Reasonably, we don't deserve grace. Regardless, Jesus died on the cross, thinking of us. As crowds cursed His name, He thought of us. As heaven’s eyes turned away, Jesus painfully died for us so that we can experience grace by seeking God with all of our hearts (Jeremiah 29:13). And by seeking him with all our heart, we begin to separate ourselves from the valley, moving up the mountain. He did this so we could fully understand the depth to His grace when we submit ourselves to him.
When we are willing to climb and push through the pain of what we are leaving behind in the valley, we are walking up a mountain towards unimaginable beauty. The beauty seen from the top of the mountain includes the valley we once stood in, a valley that once felt so hopeless but has specifically shaped the wondrous view from the mountain top.
This beauty is in form of rich love. Love like this doesn’t leave us because of our bad past. The Lord knew what He was doing when He sent His one and only son. Jesus gave everything for us. Us who run, us who flee, us who have dealt with extreme darkness in the valley, us.
Don’t run from God anymore, run to God. Get out of that valley. Run up that mountain side. Run towards joy, love and grace unending with intentions to seek the beauty the Lord has created for you. I promise, it’s worth it.
