Where to even begin...everyone in my life knows that you were the one who broke me. In the beginning, you did all the right things and said all the right words. You acted like a gentleman and treated me like a lady. You did everything by the book and you succeeded in making me fall for you. We went on trips, I met your family, and I even took a seven-hour bus ride just to see you. I would've broken my back for you. I would've made myself look like a fool for you. I gave you chance after chance, at the expense of my own dignity, just for a shot to live "happily ever after" with you. And I did give you chance after chance. And you only started to appreciate that when I didn't have any shits left to give.

I'm not trying to put you on blast and broadcast our relationship to the world just to spite you. I just want to reflect on the fact that despite everything I've been through, after all the times you’ve hurt me, after how stupid you made me feel...I finally moved on. You completely broke me down to the point where I had no other choice but to build myself back up. I have to give you some credit for that. I never would be where I'm at now, in a place where I actually feel strong, confident, and like I know my own worth, if it wasn't for you making me feel like I was completely worthless.

And since I live in a benevolent and abundant universe in which Karma always does her job, you're the one chasing after me now. Telling me how perfect I am, how beautiful I am, how stupid you were...and guess what? You are stupid, and you should feel stupid. Not me. I cared about you no matter what anybody else said or thought about you. I saw the good in you no matter how shitty and mean your behavior was. I let you back in my life time and time again, just because I wanted to believe that you were still the nice guy I first met.

I still can't believe I let another person, let alone a dumb guy, have so much power over how I lived my life and how I felt about myself. I had to retake possession over my own power. I had to learn how to establish boundaries and figure out how I’m going to let people treat me. If somebody can’t see my worth, or appreciate me for everything I have to offer, then screw ‘em. Before, I was under the false assumption that how people treated me was a direct reflection of my worth as a person. Thankfully, I know now that the only person who can determine my worth is me.

I thought getting you to finally come around and love me was going to make me feel like a million bucks. I’ve imagined this moment and thought it was going to be so, so much better than this. Now that I have you in the palm of my hand, begging me to be your girlfriend, all I can do is laugh. It doesn’t feel right. Wouldn’t the right person for me be the one who thought I was amazing since day one? Not somebody who emotionally abused me for two years until they suddenly had a coming-to-Jesus moment and realized that I’m actually awesome? Nah. Not after all this inner work I’ve done and all the healing I’ve made a conscious effort to do, essentially because of what YOU put me through.

Absolutely none of my main focuses in life have anything to do with getting anybody to love me anymore. I’m happy. Genuinely happy. I feel like my bad times are behind me and I can move on into a new phase of my life where I’m concentrated only on the things that truly matter. My future, my health, my well-being, my passions…and so for that, I have to say thank you. I don’t hate you. I don’t have any resentment towards you whatsoever. I’m just glad that I got to the other side, and that I can look back and appreciate all the dark times. They ended up teaching me what I don’t want and will never tolerate.

Most importantly, I learned what love really is during the process of getting over you. It's not clinging, forcing, possessing, playing games, etc. It's appreciating somebody for who they truly are, not just what they can do for your ego. It's not going back and forth, hurting each other in attempt to regain the upper hand. It's wanting the other person to be genuinely happy, regardless of whether or not that person ends up with you. By learning what love isn't, I learned what love is. And even though I'm in no rush, I'm confident in the fact that I'll know what real love is when I see it.