This past Thursday, I finished my freshman year of college and moved home for the summer. Unlike most college students, I was not as thrilled to be going home. This had nothing to do with actually going home; I really missed my family throughout the semester and was really excited to be home with them again. The reason I wasn't as thrilled was because I had gotten so used to living at college with my roommate, and I was realizing that I would be living without her for four whole months over the summer. She only lives two hours away from me, but that can get to be quite a hike and I was just having trouble thinking about readjusting to the way I lived at home, without her. I'm still adjusting to this. I guiltily admit that I cry about once a day because the four weeks until I see her again feels like forever.

Leading up to the day we moved our from our dorm, I was a hot mess. Two nights before we moved out, I had a major nervous breakdown. I had been in denial about moving out of my dorm, and finally, it all hit me like a freight train. I was moving home and was not going to be living with my roommate for the whole summer. We weren't going to binge watch Netflix weekly, or have jam sessions to our favorite music, or make late-night Target runs, or just be in the same room when we finally called it a night or woke up in the morning. It was just going to be different, and I wasn't ready for it. I got myself so sad and worked up to the point where I was hyperventilating. I actually ended up wearing myself out from the tears and passing out cold. I was fine all throughout the next day until we hit the evening again. This time, it sunk in that this was our last time in the room, and there was another sob session which luckily was a lot less serious. I shed a fair amount of tears but then was able to pull myself together for the time being and go to sleep. The day we moved out actually wasn't too bad. We spent the morning packing up last minute things and loading my car. And then we took some pictures. And then I got in my car. And then we waved goodbye.

I know it sounds silly, but imagine living with your best friend, or more so your other half, for a whole seven months and then suddenly you're back living at home without your best friend. Yes, this is part of life. But it doesn't make it any easier. I lucked out in the sense that my roommate turned out to be my other half. She's my best friend. She's the shoulder for me to cry on when I need it. She's the best friend I can tell anything to. She's the best friend who makes me a better person. So, you should be able to understand why this is harder for me. It would be easier if we lived five minutes away from each other, but we don't. Two hours isn't that far, but if you factor in driving, traffic, and different work schedules into the equation, you'll see why it's a lot harder for us to see one another. We have certain dates planned to get together and sleep at each other's houses, but it feels like these dates are much farther in the future than they actually are. It's been less than a week since we both moved home, but it feels like forever ago. This is why it's hard. Combine this with just the adjustment in itself of moving home, and you've got yourself a real winner. All college students who lived in dorms at their schools will have some trouble readjusting to life at home, but not all college students lived with their best friends at college.

I've decided that what I'm going through is Roommate Separation Anxiety, or RSA for short. Whether or not this is a real condition is beyond me, but for all necessary purposes, this just about sums up what I'm going through. I miss my roommate like crazy, and while everybody says it will get easier to be separated as the summer goes on, I feel as if I am only going to miss her more. Needless to say, I can't wait to be living with her again in September. Although I wish they would end soon, I foresee a lot more tears in my future. I really am just having a lot more trouble with the adjustment. I'm sure there are other people out there who are going through this same thing or have gone through it in the past, so I know I will survive in the long run. I also know I'll feel a lot less sad when I see her for the first time this summer. Until then, I'm going to keep on keeping on, and try to focus less on how much I miss her and more on how excited I am to see her again soon. Roomie, be ready for a bunch of hugs when we are reunited!