From a very young age, I was taught by movies and books that the ultimate goal in my life should be to fall in love. As I have grown, I realize how sad and empty a goal like that really is, and I’m angry at my culture for spoon-feeding me such lies. Modern culture makes it seem like the end goal in life is romantic love. ‘You’re not complete unless you have a man.’ That sort of thing. I will admit that I have fallen for that lie a billion times. There is so much more to life, though than being with a guy. As a Christian, and as expounded on in one of my earlier articles, the only love that lasts forever is your relationship with Christ. That’s the love I should try to develop. There are many areas of modern life that reflect this mistaken role of romance, and I would like to expound upon three.
1. Any Disney Princess Movie
I love all Disney things. I was raised on movies like Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella. That’s both a good thing and a bad thing, though. Their happily ever after always includes a prince, but usually doesn’t include much more. Yes, romantic love is a good thing. I don’t want to bash that, but it’s not the ONLY thing. It’s not one’s sole purpose on this Earth. This brainwashes children in a way, and that’s not something we should support. We should definitely allow our children to watch Disney princess movies because they’re amazing, but we should tell them that other things matter too, that life is about more than just being in love.
2. Music
Love is a powerful force, so I completely understand why there are so many songs dedicated to it. Some of the most popular songs on the charts nowadays are reflective of the obsessive romances that have become common in our culture. Just take a look at some of the lyrics from a song that was popular a few years ago. “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.” Or how about a song that’s popular now? “Yeah, reckless behavior. A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw...” When we really listen to the words, is that what we want? Is that a healthy view of love? I don’t think so.
3. Television/Books
I love a good romance! I’ve cried my eyes out reading The Notebook and I’ve wept with my favorite characters from Downton Abbey when things didn’t work out in their favor. More recent television has been better about giving the girl protagonist a higher goal than romance, but I’m not fond of how a character’s happiness is directly correlated to whether or not she is dating someone. If she has a boyfriend, she’s complete. If she doesn’t, her life is somehow less meaningful. That’s just woefully inaccurate and when I have a daughter one day, I don’t want her to fall for such nonsense.
How do we unlearn what our culture has taught us? How does it become less about romance and more about something deeper? I think for a human who doesn’t know God or His love, romantic love seems like a worthy enough end-goal for one’s life. But I know God, and it’s different for me. A person who doesn’t know God most likely doesn’t even want any more to their life than romance. For us who belong to God, though, we are called to something higher. All of this being said, I adore romance. I read romantic fiction voraciously and all of my favorite movies are romances. Romance is amazing and it should be glorified, but it shouldn’t be made to seem like one’s sole purpose in life. We are made for so much more.
