Ever been in lecture or at a seemingly important social engagement and thought to yourself, is it acceptable to pull out my phone? More than likely the answer is no, but just like Tommy from the Rugrats, you’re all grown up and you’re not going to let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do. But as it turns out, it’s not all about timing when it comes to mastering a skill that takes almost no time to develop. Here are some tips on proper cellphone etiquette to help you survive in the age of social media.
Lectures- While it’s the trademark of college, it’s also the last place you want to be at 7:30 in the morning. If you can manage to make it to class, you’re already one step closer than most to graduating. But it doesn’t stop here. Most teachers expect you to pay attention. Don’t believe the hype. Everyone knows you learn more from what’s trending on Twitter than anything a CHM 116 professor could ever teach you in the span of 50 minutes. And nothing lets a teacher know how interested you are like when you whip out your smartphone during the middle of class. The rule goes: the smaller the class, the better.
Parties- If lectures are the trademark of college then parties are its crown jewel. These social extravaganzas bring together peoples from every walk of life. Fraternities mix with sororities in a pressure cooker of excitement and fun; everyone’s happy.
Now the path to having a good time is pretty straight forward. But then again you’ve never been the type to take the easy path. No — you want to be different. And what better way to stand out than by broadcasting to everyone, through excessive use of your cellphone, your apparent lack of basic social skills?
Constant Facebook status updates, tweets, posts to Instagram or to your Snapchat Story are a must. Experts recommend and average of at least one every 2-3 minutes. They tell all five of your friends that somehow you’re having a much better time than they are. And now that internet proof exists, there’s no denying it. Plus while you’re busy killing it on social media, you can rest assure that the guy/girl you were planning on talking to has waited patiently for you to lift your eyes, shift your gaze, and approach when ready.
The library- These old relics of the past have taken on a new role in our ever changing society. They have transformed from glorious sanctuaries of knowledge into glorified Starbucks with stadium seating. I mean, have you ever seen a book at Hicks (other than the ones in your backpack)?
All the things you thought you knew about libraries have gone out the window. No need to keep quiet here because loud talking is encouraged. Have to make a call? Just go ahead an answer it. Chances are no one will mind since everyone else seems to do the same thing.
Between Class- That awkward break in between classes that you somehow count as cardio, is really only good for one thing. If your guess was texting then you’re off to a great start. Ten minutes isn’t a whole lot of time so it’s up to you to capitalize on it the best way you know how. Forget having a conversation with a real person who has real problems, and who just might be going to the same place as you. You already have a prior engagement and no one likes a cheater.
The toilet- The one place where the world revolves around you is the bathroom. It’s this exact idea that you can never let others forget. Remind them of how important you are by carrying on a conversation at an obnoxiously loud volume while locked away in a stall. Others will question your judgment and your ability to prioritize but at least they’ll be focused on you.
Be sure to speak loud and clear so that everyone gets all the juicy details of your conversation (even the ones they didn’t ask for). They might be so intrigued that a spontaneous dialogue will form between you and them. Be sure not to acknowledge them as this might turn into a real life conversation and you aren’t prepared to handle that yet.
