I was scrolling through Facebook the other day, and came upon an article titled "Date Someone Who Treats You Like Shit".
At first, I thought it was a joke, or maybe an article with a misleading title.
But it wasn't.
I don't typically write responses to other writers works because I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. "To each their own", my mom always said.
But young girls may read that article and actually follow it's advice. And I just can't have that.
The more I read the article, the angrier I became. As someone who has been in a relationship similar to what she was advocating for, I know how horrible it is.
I also know that you don't need a terrible relationship to make you realize what you truly deserve.
She made some fair points throughout the article, but the main idea was misleading, and frankly, ignorant.
Yes, being treated terribly by someone you care for can be an eye opener. Yes, you can realize what you deserve. Yes, after an encounter like that, there is a chance you won't allow treatment like that again.
But, what about those girls that stay in terrible relationships for years? What about the girls who marry the "bad boy"? What about those girls who put up with mistreatment, to eventually face abuse or domestic violence?
What about the girls who become so heartbroken, and torn up, that they end up with another crummy guy?
There are so many ways to learn how you deserve to be treated. There are ways to become strong, and not settle, without having to be mistreated first.
I don't believe that any girl should be treated like "shit" by a guy. The author of this article speaks as though it's a right of passage that us girls must go through before we can have a normal relationship. Before we can "appreciate" a great guy.
Relationships are supposed to make things easier on you. Your boyfriend should be your safe place, someone you can lean on when things are hard. Someone you can count on to make you smile or make you feel special.
You aren't supposed to feel crazy, or unimportant, or unwanted. You aren't supposed to be ignored, or mistreated.
Bad relationships CAN make you stronger, but they can also break you in half.
You don't need to date Mr. Wrong, in order to fully appreciate Mr. Right.
Do you want to know how you should be treated? Look at the way your father treats your mother. If that doesn't work, look to your grandfather. Look to your uncles, friend's boyfriends, and cousins.
Look at the Bible. Look at the way God outlines how a man should treat a woman. Look at how much He loves and respects you, and find a man who mirrors that.
When the right guy comes along, you aren't going to have to have "learned" how to appreciate him from past experience. You will want to appreciate him on your own.
And to the author, Kendra, I know you didn't mean any harm by writing that article. I know your intentions were good, and I don't mean to offend you.
