Growing up, I always remember the common idea which expressed that when boys were mean to girls it was because they liked them. For some time now, we have been teaching girls that boys treat them poorly because they like them or want to be with them. However, this is one of the most toxic things we can teach young girls. This idea has created a culture in which women often expect to be treated badly by men. I feel that this conviction has been one that has followed me, not only through middle and high school, but also as I enter college and adulthood. I have noticed that a lot of young women my age are not holding men to as high of a standard as women used to in years past. Women seem to have grown more tolerant of disrespect from men due to the fact that there is still the lingering possibility that he may be interested in a relationship. Because, apparently nothing says "I want a relationship" quite like a man ignoring your calls and parading other women around to make you jealous.
I know it that it has been extremely difficult watching my sweet baby sister buy into the myth that when boys are mean or disrespectful to her, it is somehow acceptable because they have a crush on her. I absolutely can not stand to see the way some of these boys, who supposedly "care about her" treat her. The worst part is that she thinks it is not a big deal, because that is how boys, especially in their teens, express their feelings.
When you truly care about someone, why would you not find every opportunity to be kind to them and make them aware of your admiration? Boys, there is nothing wrong (or less manly) with making your intentions clear by expressing your emotions. Girls, do not let this society feed you flawed ideology that it is ever acceptable for anyone to treat you poorly, whether they "like you," or not. I think that it is time for us to begin teaching young women that there is nothing wrong with expecting the utmost respect from their male counterparts. The same goes for men. The truth is, every successful relationship is built on a solid foundation of respect for one another. There simply is no better way of establishing a secure and lasting relationship than by taking that leap of faith and discussing your feelings with the person for whom you have these feelings. Regardless of the outcome, it has to be far better than treating someone else poorly for reasons they may not even understand.
