Today I came across something that I never would've thought existed. I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed and found an article shared about CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline) relationships. I always knew that there were radical, militant men who sought to practice such ideals in the name of God, however this article gave way to the topic of "wife spanking." That was when I knew that something HAD to be said.
In gist, the article suggested that a husband should have rules for his wife which are similar to the ones he would give his child. Examples of such "punishable" offenses include but are not limited to: being sassy, talking back, and being disrespectful. The article then provided rules for the spankings. It said that the wife should first stand in a corner until fetched by her husband, taken to a place designated for spanking where she would then have her undergarments removed to expose bare flesh, then she would be slapped with a force that grows increasingly more violent each blow. The aftermath was even mentioned, stating that the husband should then cuddle with his wife to "show that he forgives her."
Guys, this is incredibly messed up. Let's look at it from the Christian standpoint. To be a Christian is to serve Christ and to live according to His Word (Scriptures found in the Holy Bible). To be Christ-like is to act according to how Christ would've acted, and violence is not one of His characteristics. To claim that spousal abuse is justified when done in the name of Christ is to blaspheme our Savior's Name. He was not and is not (as we serve a living God) violent. The world betrayed Him. They mocked Him, beat Him, cursed His name. They ripped the skin from His body and pierced Him both with nails and with thorns. They laughed at Him as He suffered upon the cross. Now, Christology (the study of Christ) teaches that Jesus was 100% man and 100% God. Therefore, Jesus was given divine attributes with his God-nature and could've easily gotten Himself down from the cross in order to save Himself and punish His abusers. However, instead of doing such a thing, Jesus allowed Himself to suffer so that the ones who tortured Him could be saved from eternal damnation. Such sacrifice is what it means to live as Christ lived.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-5
From a moral standpoint, nothing about this is okay. My fiance would never, under any circumstance, hit me. I can be so difficult to put up with sometimes. I get hangry every time I'm hungry, I get moody when I'm sleepy, and I sometimes have mood swings that just won't quit. Do you know how he treats me during those times? He doesn't stand me up in a corner until I am forced to "face my punishment." No. He tells me how much he loves me and how much I truly mean to him. He wraps me up into his arms and holds me while I cry into his shirt. He stays by my side until he knows I'm okay and he never makes me question his love for me. If this "wife spanking" is about submission and making the wife more agreeable, then I must say that they're doing it all wrong. Negative reinforcement will only lead to submission out of fear (even when it should lead to a swift kick in the groin). The way my husband-to-be loves me during my worst moments makes me respect him more and leads me to want to be the best fiancee and wife a woman can be. I want him to lead me because he does so with love and wisdom. He makes me feel like we're a team instead of placing me below him in a rank system. He loves me the way Christ loves the Church, as Christ demanded husbands do. The world needs less beating and more love and compassion.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ does for the church..."
Ladies, if you find yourself in a relationship where you are being hit in any way, seek help now. You don't deserve what you're being given. You are priceless and you deserve to be shown that each and every day. This CDD nonsense needs to end NOW.
For help call 1-800-799-SAFE, that's 1-800-799-7233. God bless.