When it comes to New Years Resolutions, people get really worked up to come up with solid ideas. They go for a lot of the more obvious ones like staying healthy, going on diet, and going to the gym. But at the same time, you can tell yourself something as many times as you want, but if you are not acting on it, it won't work. I feel like New Years Resolutions have become so cliche, to the point where most people don't even know what to do anymore. For some people, their New Years Resolution is the same every year. Because of this, it starts losing its value; it stops being real. So even though it may sound like I hate New Years Resolutions, I will say that I do appreciate the effort that some people put into making them come true. Which is why I kind of have my own version of a New Years Resolution.
1. No more insecurities.
I feel like people think that I have all of this confidence and that I am perfectly comfortable being me. But sometimes it sucks being me, and I sometimes don't like myself. However, I have come to accept my insecurities and flaws as beautiful imperfections. Because I am perfectly incomplete, and I will always be working on my masterpiece.
2. Be ME at all times.
Last year I learned that I am an amazing person, with flaws, insecurities, kind of smart, kind of funny, with an attitude, who's stubborn, loud, with Latina pride; but at the same time, kind of crazy. However, I also learned that I would not change this for anything in the world. I completely love myself, and I learned that when I am being ME completely, people also really love it.
3. I have a right to be sad.
Last semester, things got really hard for me. I was struggling with a bunch different things at once, and it got hard to handle all of it. It was one of the few times in my life, where I learned that I can't control everything and that sometimes I'm not going to know what to do. Sometimes I won't have the answer, and that really sucks for me. I usually always know what to do or say. So when things get tough, I'm allowed to be sad, to feel broken, to cry. I have to learn that sometimes I will face challenges that I will not know how to handle and because of this, it's okay to feel sad.
4. It's okay not to be okay.
Because eventually, I will be okay.
I feel like people tend to think that I'm always okay. People see me as the "Mom," the one who is always there to help, protect, care, and understand. But sometimes "Mom" is not okay, and that's perfectly fine. I'm allowed to feel what I feel, even though I don't want to express it. So yeah, sometimes I may not be acting like myself, but I have a right to do that. Life gets hard, and it throws stuff at you that you may not be able to handle. But just because I'm not okay at one moment, doesn't mean I won't get better; I'll just need some time to deal with my emotions. I will eventually overcome whatever I'm dealing with, all I need is for people to be there to support me along the way; to help me feel like it's okay to feel what I'm feeling. Sometimes the "kids" need to take care of the "Mom."
There are a couple of other things that I could put down, but these are the most important for me. Some people would say that these aren't exactly "New Years Resolutions," but they are for me. It took a lot for me to be able to learn all of this. I experienced a lot of problems, but I learned from them. I learned that I am a human being, and no matter what I say, I face my own battles and will face them accordingly. I will no longer hide, because being ME is the best thing I could ever be.
