I've tried.

I've tried for years to break all the cycles that haunt my fate and history.

Abuse. Find something. Drop out. Find something more. Divorce. Repair.

That's what I've seen, that's what I don't want to see again.

Yet, here I am.

Abuse. Find something. Drop out.

It makes me not want to find the more, to stay in stagnation with this emptiness left over.

I can't see how I'm any different from everyone before me.

Maybe I'd be better alone, maybe that would stop the cycle.

Or would it just move on to her?

Maybe I should take the past so they can move forward.

Would that work? Would everything be satisfied?

Move forward with all of this, possibly creating a hole for the destruction that would come again,

Find something to keep this going, to stay on the path that will ultimately lead me right back to the past.

I don't feel like fighting it anymore if it's just going to happen anyways.

"Are you okay?"



Someday maybe.

The writing helps, keeps me on a path to something.

Fight is what they tell me.

Don't lose faith.

I wish I had one.

Finding something to believe in while you're in the dark is the hardest.

Something other than the cycle.

I am not the cycle.

This low is just a point in my story, a conflict that will resolve in the Ending.

I know this somewhere, but it's hard to see.

So I'll trust my instinct and keep fighting, believing that maybe there is something more for me to do that isn't on the path I thought was chosen for me.

I'll write,

I'll work,

Maybe I'll even try to do what I really want.

I can't think of this as the end; That'll destroy me.

I have to keep going, find something to push for.

I'll find a way to break the cycle, even from this stage.

This is my Destiny.