It seems like it was just yesterday, you were sitting right next to me telling me stories about your childhood memories and how much you loved me. I remember going shopping with you, doing your hair and our late night conversations on the phone when I was away at college. There are so many great memories that I have with you that I will never forget. But, there are also memories that I wish I could forget. I'll never forget the years you spent sick or how the doctors kept diagnosing you with brochitis. I remember how you used to try so hard to hide the fact that you were sick or not feeling well. Even worse, the medications weren't working, you just continued to decline and get more and more ill. I would say, "you really need to go to the doctor's just this one more time!" Due to your stubborn nature, it took us months to convince you to go to the specialist. And when you finally went, there was some bad news to be told. Your lungs showed a drastic decrease in function than previous tests have shown, even worse yet, a month later you were diagnosed with lung cancer. I remember when the doctor told us that it was not only a deadlier form of lung cancer, it was stage 4. I automatically started crying. It felt like my world fell apart in just a split second. The doctor gave you the option to do a strong chemotherapy, with your strong stature and determination you decided to go on with the chemotherapy. It was not an easy task though! Some days you were so tired and weak, you couldn't even get breakfast or eat, yet everyday in and out you were determined to beat this cancer. You never once complained about the sickness or the weakness because you were just thrilled that God gave you another day with us. After one round of chemo, you started to lose your hair. I know that you didn't feel pretty without your hair but believe me when I say, you were just as gorgeous without hair than you were with hair. I remember how when we would go out to eat and people would stare. You would sit there uncomfortably and fail to touch your food out of embarrassment. I would sit there and wish I could take your pain away. All of the sudden, something happened, your health hit an all time low. The doctor sat us down and told us the bad news.What the doctor was saying was a blur. All I got out of the doctor's words was the fact that you had only 6 months to live. You stopped chemo and started to gain strength and go out and do the things you loved to do. We went to car shows, got ice cream, and watched some of your favorite shows. For a short period of time, everything seemed just fine, until you started to decline again. Reality struck. Before I knew it, I had to leave for school. I remember taking in your scent as I hugged you. I wanted to remember it long after you were gone. That was the last hug you ever gave me and "I love you" was one of the last words you told me. The memory I hate the most is when I got the call that you were gone. You passed away on September 2nd that is a date that will forever be in my mind. Not a day goes by in which I don’t think about you. Everything around me reminds me of the many fond memories we shared together. Although it hurts not having you with me, I know you are no longer suffering and I find comfort in that. You are forever in my heart and I will continue to make you proud. I hope one day I can be the strong, determined, loving person you were. If I turn out even a quarter like you I know I would be so happy. I love you. Rest in peace!
The loved one you left behind.