From my own personal experience...

I have learned that it’s difficult to explain to someone what it really takes to make a relationship work and last. I have been around and have observed other peoples’ relationships for as long as I can remember; whether it was my parents, friends, strangers at a restaurant or anywhere else, I feel like I've seen it all at this point. It has always been fascinating to me to see different relationships and how they work. Every person is different, so it makes sense that every relationship is unique in its' own way. However, it can be a little unsettling when you see one couple who only fights with each other once in a blue moon, and then another couple who spends almost every day in a fight over something. How are you supposed to know which one is better? I mean, I know the thought of fighting with your loved one more often than not doesn't sound appealing to anyone, but I don’t necessarily think that means the relationship is any less than the one of the couples who hardly ever fights. We all have different personalities and some people are more stubborn and headstrong than others, which might make their relationship more of a challenge at times.

The reason that I find it unsettling, being that I’m only 27-years old and in a long-term relationship, is that it makes me wonder about my current relationship and my future relationship. I don’t argue with my boyfriend very often being that we’re both on the easy-going side, and we usually just agree to disagree (a tactic I tend to use with everyone I know to avoid unnecessary confrontation) or we spend five minutes arguing and then forget about it completely. Either way, we only have big fights every once in a while. I think that’s why I spend so much time wondering about what we’ll be like in 10 or 15 years from now. Will life start to get in the way of our laid back, easy-going relationship? Will we start to fight over every little detail of our lives; money, houses, location, kids, etc? I guess I’ve seen how life can destroy relationships, not always tearing the people apart and forcing them into a separation or divorce, but sometimes even worse- it seems to make people unhappy with one another and stay that way just because they still love each other. How do you know when it's worth holding on to? And how do you keep things as easy and happy as possible while still holding onto some sort of passion?

I come from a family that’s full of love, excitement, drama, and overall insanity. My parents are the kind of couple who will fight over which route to take to the restaurant that’s five minutes away. They have fought over money, houses, my four younger sisters and I, and everything in between. Life really got in their way at times. They have been together for over 25 years now, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that they ever loved each other any less than they did the day they fell in love. My dad can be hot-tempered, impatient, and loud; and mom may be on the easy going side but she can also be very stubborn and set in her ways. Basically, a combination for disaster. Even so, they fell in love and have made their chaotic, never a dull moment, wonderful life together work somehow. I don’t always understand their relationship and sometimes I wonder just how much it took for them to stay together all of this time...more than I could ever imagine, I'm sure.

For those of you who are in a more laid back relationship like myself, I find that adding excitement and adventure into our daily lives is what really keeps it going. We know we love each other, we know we trust each other, and we know each others' favorite songs. Even so, being with someone for six and a half years can feel like a lot longer at times; you need to find ways to hold onto the passion that brought you two together in the first place. You could spend some time taking spontaneous road trips together, travel to a new city, try a different restaurant, go on a hike, find and cook a new recipe, or anything else that will keep the relationship on its toes. Especially nowadays, when you could easily glue yourself to your smartphone rather than notice the person sitting across the table from you (a terrible habit most of us are guilty of).

Finally, for those who are in more intense relationships full of arguments and hot tempers, I think it’s a good idea to take a deep breath and try to slow things down sometimes. Maybe remind yourself that winning an argument with someone you love never really feels like winning. I know I’m still young and am in no place to give advice like this, especially since I’m not in this kind of relationship, but it’s just my opinion based on what I’ve seen and learned from those around me.

All in all, there is no right or wrong way to make a relationship work and last, all you can really do is figure out what works for both of you and try to stay on the same page. I think that no matter what comes your way, the most important question to ask yourself is, “Is the person you love worth the sacrifice?“ If the answer is yes, then you’re doing something right.