I was never that girl who loved makeup growing up. I never went through my mom's makeup bag and tried on her lipstick or put on blue eyeshadow to be cool. I mostly used it in dance recitals and in plays for character. I grew up thinking of makeup as a "mask," a way for me to take on a different persona.
When I went to high school, I never put on makeup. I went to an all-girls school so I never found it necessary. When my mom would tell me to put on some mascara or blush I would often ask her, "Who am I trying to impress?" Her answer, "Yourself." I never got that. I always thought that makeup was used to get a boy, so it was naturally used to impress someone you wanted to date; never yourself.
College was a different story. I would wake up early and put on a whole face of makeup. I wanted to look older and impress the guy in my political science class, but as the year went on I saw it as a chore. I was putting on my "mask." The summer after my freshman year I was in the deep, black hole that is YouTube makeup tutorials. It was here at 3 a.m. that I realized what makeup could be; an extension of my personality.
I loved watching Ingrid Neilson's videos. She always does her makeup so naturally and just adds a pop of color to her eyes or lips. I showed me that I could still be me and have fun. After watching more videos than I care to admit, I became obsessed with makeup. Not with the way it made me look, but with the different ways it can be used. How a pop of red lipstick can make me feel like an old movie star or how smoky eyes can make me feel like I am sexier than I actually am.
I am now that girl that has a VIP card to Sephora and Ulta. I am now that girl that subscribes to Youtube beauty bloggers and box subscriptions. But I am also still that girl that likes to go out without makeup on. I am still that girl that loves a clean face day. I no longer look at girls who wear makeup everyday as people who try too hard to get a guy. I now view them as women who love to express themselves. Even if that isn't what they are doing, that I how I like to view them.
Everyone has the right to express what they want. It isn't up to me or anyone to tell them how to do it. So rock that black lipstick. Put rainbow eyeshadow all over your lids. Be you and love every minute of it.
