Admit it. You want that perfect relationship. You want to find that certain someone that makes you swoon... and drool over. You want others to look at you and wonder if there's another couple in the world that is as perfect as you are; a couple that's as in love with one another as you two are. However, just because this is what you want doesn't necessarily mean it's easy to find. It may take two, three, or even seven relationships, and you're bound to make several mistakes along the way. It's vital though that you make a mental note of those mistakes and atrocities you experience along the way and vow to never relive them ever again. With that being said, here's a heads up of all of the relationship mistakes you're bound to make before finding the one.
1. Forgiving Too Easily
We’re human, we make mistakes, it’s one of the most natural things in the world. However, what isn’t natural is repeating the same mistake over and over and constantly expecting forgiveness. If your s.o. is constantly doing the same thing over and over and you’re not okay with it, make sure you sit them down and talk to them about it. If they brush it off and don’t put all their effort into putting an end to the repeated mistake, move on.
2. Devaluing Yourself
They say you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, and that’s something that’s extremely important. Going further into that, you have to make sure that self-love prevails throughout your entire relationship. Never let your s.o. trick you into thinking you’re less than what you are, and never EVER dumb yourself down for someone else. With that being said, if you’re with someone who coerces you into thinking you’re worth less than you really are, leave.
3. Allowing Things To Be Unfair
If your s.o. believes they have the right to do something, then you have that very same right. Don’t let them go out with their friends but then let them get mad when you go out with yours. Don’t let them get upset with or angry at you for things that they do themselves. In other words, don’t date a hypocrite.
4. Making Your S.O. Your Priority
It’s inevitable that in a new relationship you’re going to be in the “honeymoon phase” and want to spend every waking minute with your s.o. This is a phase that should last no longer than 2 months max. After that, you need to stop making them your priority otherwise you’ll lose your independence and probably some of your friends.
5. Being Exclusive To Someone Who Isn’t Exclusive To You
This is a no brainer and doesn’t require much explanation. Don’t give someone your all if they’re splitting themselves amongst you and four other girls at once. Don’t tolerate cheating. End of story.
6. Chasing Someone Who Isn’t Yours
Don’t give your time to someone who doesn’t appreciate it. It should be pretty easy to tell if the person you’re interested in wants to reciprocate those feelings. If they don’t, don’t dwell on it, just realize they’re not the person for you and go find someone who will give you the attention you deserve.
7. Chasing Someone Who Is Yours But Doesn’t Want To Be Chased
On the other hand, you can make the mistake of chasing someone who is yours, but doesn’t want to be chased. This is the type of person that wants to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be with you for reasons unknown, and what makes those reasons unknown is that they also want to get with hundreds of other people, which in that case, why be in a relationship in the first place? As stated earlier, don’t tolerate cheating, and remember: once a cheater, always a cheater.
8. Pretending To Be Okay With Something You’re Definitely Not Okay With
If your s.o. does something that you don’t like, be verbal about it. Absolutely do not sweep it under the rug because it’s going to constantly be in the back of your mind nagging at you. And what’s worse is that your s.o. will continue doing whatever it is, not knowing that you’re not okay with it. You have to sit down and talk about any issues you’re having in order to fix them, even if you’re not a confrontational person. Suck it up, and let them know what bothers you.
9. Comparing Your S.O. To Past Relationships
This is probably one of the most important things to remember. Everybody is different, every relationship is different. They’re based off of different experiences, different people, different feelings. If you’re going to constantly compare your relationship to past ones, you’ll never be happy. Those relationships didn’t work out for a reason, so there’s absolutely no reason to dwell on them.
10. Overanalyzing Everything That Happens
Everyone’s mind works differently. You may think someone is feeling a particular way or thinking a specific thing, and then find out that that emotion or that thought never even crossed their mind. Nine times out of ten overanalyzing things will make your brain want to explode. If you’re curious about something or want to know how someone is feeling, ask them, don’t assume.
11. Being With Someone Who Never Makes Plans/Goes On Dates With You
Going on dates is an important part of a relationship, as it keeps things interesting and secures that spark between the two of you. Don’t let your s.o. get away with using the excuse of “not having enough money” for a date because a date can be as simple as packing a lunch of sandwiches and drinks and having a picnic on the beach or in a park. If you and your s.o. never do anything new and exciting, you’re bound to get bored with one another and eventually lose interest. Basically, make sure your s.o. knows the power of spontaneous surprise dates!
12. Getting Into Fights And Then Not Talking About It After
If you and your s.o. get into a fight, it is INCREDIBLY important that you TALK ABOUT IT afterwards!!!! Unless you’re able to sit down with one another and figure out what the fight was about, why it happened, who started it, etc., you’re bound to experience déjà vu and fight about the same thing all over again. If you need to, give yourselves a few hours after the fight to cool down so you’re able to talk through the fight efficiently and without further argument due to built up anger and adrenaline, but whatever you do, do not let the fight go without talking about it afterwards. (P.S. this also goes for drunken fights that are too often “forgotten” about in the morning!!!).
