Not that long ago, a little thing called social media exploded and came to the forefront of our lives. It brought funny memes, cute dogs, and, most notably, an uncomfortably close look at everyone's personal lives. People now have a platform to post just about anything. For many, this provides the perfect opportunity to include others in their romantic relationships.
It seems as though our generation, in particular, is obsessed with a little something called "relationship goals." You know what I’m talking about. Whether it’s a cheesy caption to a black-and-white photo or a picture of a bed covered in Victoria’s Secret clothing, we are bombarded with relationship goals. The pressure to have exactly the right balance of everything can be overwhelming.
These relationships look so perfect on the outside. Who wouldn’t want a boyfriend who’s constantly taking pictures of you? Who wouldn’t want a witness for every single sweet thing a girlfriend did?
If you're dating someone, and that's the way you determine whether or not a relationship is good, I’ve got a newsflash for you: you're not in love with another person, you're in love with yourself.
You're in love with the way you look in the "candids," which you probably asked to be retaken a thousand times. Your relationship is with the likes and retweets, the incessant heart eye emojis, and the never-ending "goalzzz!" comments that will clutter your notifications for days. For some reason, you need the approval and affirmation of friends and strangers in order to feel like you're a success.
When did proving that what we have is enviable become the goal of a relationship?
You may be thinking, "That's not what it's about! It's about showing people what they're worth! It's about showing what I'm worth!" And sure, that's what you may be telling yourself. You are nobly taking up the burden of demonstrating what a "good" relationship should look like, right? Wrong.
You don't care about empowering people. You care about people seeing how happy you are. You care about showing everyone how good your life is, and how good their life could be, too, if they had someone like your significant other. (And, whoops, they don't!) Like it or not, your well-meaning PSA's come off as self-serving brags.
Don't want to be that girl/guy? Here's some advice:
It’s time to hop off the #goals train. If you’re dating someone, just focus on him or her – not the version you want social media to see. There’s something special about knowing a person in a way no one else does, so try to savor that instead of dreaming about what the ‘gram would say about it.