Junior High is a mess. Having to pretend that you have any athletic ability when you actually don't is also a mess. If you put the two together, you have one big hot mess. In Junior High, I played basketball. It's shocking, I know. Was I any good? Definitely not. Did anyone let me think I was good?

The answer is no.

However, the program was designed that if you wanted to get a workout in, you had to play basketball. There was no way around it. Also, if you played basketball, it was mandatory to run track. Basically, this is one big trap for someone who hates running and is not coordinated but still wants to better their body.

It was given that you were going to get a hard-core workout in at least once a day during basketball season. Sometimes, you had after school workouts or practice. Sometimes it was both. Quite frankly, I've tried to erase as much of Junior High out of my brain as possible.

Needless to say, exercise was mandatory and I hated every single minute of it. I dreaded going to school every single day because I knew that I had to workout and I had to go to athletics. Therefore, I'd like to call stage 1 of my exercise journey "This is the part where I hate it". Appropriate, right?

Freshman year was slightly better. I got to play softball, so my workouts were more catered to the fact that I don't have to run very far unless by the grace of God I hit a triple or something. I got to focus on weightlifting more and strengthening my legs, instead of being forced to run track.

However, exercise was still an obligation, and there was no part of me that enjoyed it all. So, stage two could be titled "This is slightly better, but I still don't want to be here".

Finally, I moved schools after freshman year and quit athletics. Thank goodness. This is stage three called "I discovered that not all exercise is a bad thing" or "I joined a real gym". It's up for interpretation really, but sophomore year brought many good things. For the first time, I didn't hate working out.

I got to go to a gym and explore ways that I enjoyed using the equipment without being forced to do CrossFit workouts under a certain time period. I learned that I really like cardio kickboxing because it's fun and energetic. I also learned that I still hate running. It wasn't just the athletic program... I really hate it. But I learned that it's totally okay! I learned that exercise doesn't just have to be one thing.

It doesn't only mean flipping tires, running 300s, and sprinting up bleachers. It can mean yoga, kickboxing, Zumba, and lifting weights. Exercise encompasses all of these things, and as long as you're treating your body right, nothing is out of your reach. Stage 3 was one of the most revealing stages once I stopped having a coach over my shoulder constantly.

The last stage is the fourth one. This is titled "I went to college and found Yoga". It's pretty self-explanatory, but this year has been wonderful for many reasons. The biggest one is that I've found an exercise that I love. And I've taken the phrase "exercise because you love your body, not to change your body" to heart. In all the other three stages, I worked out constantly because I wasn't happy with my body and felt like I desperately needed to change it.

Now, I workout because I love feeling strong. I love feeling like I'm doing something for my body, and that I'm making my muscles stronger. I know a yoga class once a week isn't going to shed the pounds, but who cares?

I wasn't happy with my body when I was 20 pounds lighter, and I'm not sure why I think that I'd be happier with myself If I lost weight. I'm not gonna be angry at exercise or abuse my body because I want it to change. I'm learning that none of my best qualities come from what I look like, so why over-exercise?

I'm smart, beautiful, and very capable of whatever I set my mind to, regardless of the way that I look. Also, God created me wonderfully. He provided fun exercise and opportunities to do what I love, just so I could do what I love. I'd like to think that he gets upset when we constantly look down on ourselves.

Essentially, when I changed my relationship with exercise, I changed my relationship with how I look at my body. I'm so thankful that exercises like kickboxing and yoga exist, and I'm so proud to say that I exercise too because I love my body. I hope everyone reaches a stage four because there's no place I'd rather be.