REGRETS
Relationships

REGRETS

I Just Wish She'd Shut Up!

33
Pixabay

Why does she always make me feel like I mean nothing to her? How did we come to this? I gazed at her while I try to pinpoint the time in our relationship when things went south. Could it have been the current move; Is it too stressful? The layoffs at her job; Did she think she was next? Maybe she just wanted to frustrate the heck out of me. Sometimes I wish I could just fling her across the room. I drew a blank. For as long as I could remember we were everything to each other, but, now she grabs every opportunity to shut me out and it drives me crazy. I sighed heavily.

“Would you listen to me instead of daydreaming?” she drew a breath. “I swear if you got paid for the amount of time you spent daydreaming we wouldn’t be so behind on our bills.” I fell back into the musty couch letting it swallow me. I placed my hands over my head and closed my eyes. It's becoming harder and harder to drown her voice out. I don’t think we’ll ever be the same. As I stared at her, I couldn’t recognize her. The harshness in her face could make me stop breathing when she looked at me. She was no longer the woman I fell in love with. I can’t remember the last time we spoke without yelling.

“I’ll do it myself,” she mumbled. “Lousy piece of nothing."

"No, I'll do it," I exhaled. "What do you want me to do?"

“I wouldn’t have to repeat myself if you were dependable.” She wiped some sweat from her face. It was the fourth day in a row at 90 degrees. “I need you to set up the AC. Why won't you uninstall in from the old apartment? I'm literally melting," she exaggerated.

"If I move the AC now what are we going to do at the old apartment?"

She breathed heavily and looked up from a box labeled 'Kitchen'.

"We can use the fan!" she screamed.

Why did she make everything so difficult? "We can use the fan over here Marissa." She threw her hands up in the air.

"You know what? Fine, bring anyone. I don't care. At least you'd be doing something." She stared at me for a while before she stuck her head inside the box again.

As she continued to speak her voice sounded muffled, "There are more boxes in storage. Tomorrow is the last day to remove everything before they charge us for another month. Pick them up when you go get the fan." I remained quiet. Was this what I really wanted. Is this going to be us for the rest of our lives?

She looked up from the box again and stared at me for what felt like an eternity. "Do you think you’ll be able to handle that?”

“How about I handle this instead?” I stood from the chair and drew my hand forward.

“What are you talking…” before she could finish her thought I had already pulled the trigger and the bullet hit her in the stomach. She was grabbing the wound, but it wasn't enough pressure. Dark red blood was oozing out and covering her hands. I stared at her as she gasped for air. Her breaths were quick and short. Her chest was rising and falling heavily. Before she could fall she grabbed onto the box on the counter, but it fell because it was already half empty. She quickly gripped the counter top to stable herself.

All the while I just stood there. I didn't know how I felt. Empty. That's the word I chose to use. I raised my hand again with the gun in it. Her eyes were bugged out and she was trembling as tears rolled down her cheeks. She was coughing as blood fell out her mouth.

"D...d... don't John," She pleaded. Her lips quivered and her cries became louder. "Please," She whispered. The sound of the bullet pierced my ears as I pulled the trigger again. She fell hard.

“I guess you’ll really never change now," I muttered as I blankly stared at the woman I once would give my life for. Suppose it’s time she gave her life for me.

"Helloooo, can you hear me?"

"Huh?" I rubbed my eyes. My wife was standing with her arms against the box. I looked down at my hands. Both empty. Guess a guy could dream.

She rolled her eyes. "You're impossible. Can you just go get the stuff?"

"Whatever, sure," I said as I stood up and swiped my keys from the counter. I could hear her mumbling to herself as I made my way out the door.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Taylar Banks

May 25, 2020: the day that will forever be remembered as the day George Floyd lost his life at the hands of cops.

The day that systematic racism again reared its head at full force in 2020.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 17 Black-Owned Businesses Ship Baked Goods, Rosé, And Even Fried Chicken Nationwide

Eat your way through this country's greatest food — from your couch.

Call it the easily bored Gemini in me, but I'm constantly looking for new food to try. Usually, travel quenches my taste for new and exciting cuisines, but given the fact that international travel is not always a possibility, I've begun exploring alternatives.

In the interest of wanting to support the Black community and Black-owned businesses, and also wanting to try some of the country's greatest food without having to get off my couch, I started off (pessimistically) doing research, only to find that the options were vast.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

24 Beauty And Style Brands Donating To The Fight To End Police Brutality Against Black People

From small, boutique brands to legacy fashion brands.

The worlds of beauty and fashion often collide, whether for good or bad. In both, underrepresentation has always been, and remains to be, a major unresolved issue. After the recent killing of George Floyd, many people are rightfully enraged, compounded by the fact his death in police custody wasn't an isolated incident.

Police brutality against Black people is not new, and isn't going away till we start dedicating resources to fighting it. Many of us, as individuals, have only begun in the last week scratching the surface of what it means to educate ourselves on race, historical race relations, and how to be an ally to the Black community.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Can Still Connect While Disconnecting From Social Media

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

I don't know if you've heard, but there's a lot going on right now, particularly in relation to George Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and public protest of racial injustice in the United States. While we can all agree that this deserves conversations, change, and actionable good, social media arguments with Great Aunt Linda are not where social change begins and ends. Spending too much time scrolling through your phone has never been healthy, but now it's even more addicting — what does that one person from my hometown say about this? How can I further education within discussions? Am I posting enough?

Keep Reading... Show less

I don't know about you, but reading is at the top of my to-do list this summer... especially with all the social distancing I'll still be doing. If, like me, you're hoping to pick up a romantic page-turner (or a couple dozen), here are 23 romance novels by Black authors you'll absolutely LOVE reading.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

22 Black-Owned Etsy Shops With The Perfect Gifts For Everyone In Your Life — Including You

Treat yourself and your loved ones while supporting Black creatives and artisans.

R-KI-TEKT, Pontie Wax, Lovely Earthlings, and blade + bloom on Etsy

The world is taking action against the injustices and under-representation plaguing Black lives, and one small but impactful thing you can do to actively make a difference is support Black-owned businesses.

Etsy is likely one of your go-to sites for gift-buying, but have you ever paid attention to which independent artists and sellers you're buying from?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

True Self-Care Is HARD, That Face Mask Isn't Actually Going To Solve Your Problems

There's a line between self-care and self-destruction.

Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the past few years has seen something somewhere about self-care whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or their Instagram feed. Oftentimes it's pictures of celebrities or influencers sipping green smoothies or slathering on mud masks with #selfcare. It's posts like these that made me realize that "self-care" has become the ultimate buzz word, soaring in popularity but in the process, it's lost most of its original meaning. It's time to set the record straight and reclaim the term.

Although self-care has been around for quite some time, within the past few years it's been misconstrued and commodified as our capitalist society tends to do with things it thinks can be profited off. Self-care is now being peddled as something that can be bought and sold on the shelf at Target rather than something that takes real work to achieve. This fake self-care movement is not only enabling people to over-indulge themselves, but it has created a crutch for people to avoid the responsibility of taking true care of themselves. Instead of doing the work that needs to be done, many people fall into the trap of rewarding themselves for doing nothing at all — this can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism, especially with corporations cheering us on (to buy their next product). Long, hard day at work? Just grab your third iced coffee of the day! Fight with your SO? Buy that 50-dollar face mask, it'll make you feel better! This is how self-care becomes self-sabotage and self-destructive.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments