Today, November 25, 2016, Black Friday, marks 25 days until Christmas Day, and the consumer’s materialistic genesis into the holiday season. I would like to mention a few radical thoughts, such as the fact that Christmas is once again imminent. Truly, these are simply some thoughts on this present moment, that I need to get out of my head. I’ve just departed from my family’s suburban home, and am currently seated on the second level of a Metra train, appropriately listening to Sufjan’s Illinois, on the way to the downtown Chicago station.

It is somewhat unsettling that Thanksgiving 2016 has already come and past. My belly is still slightly enlarged, resulting in a somewhat lethargic post-Thanksgiving mental state, and I am grappling with the fact that exams and hell week will soon ensue. I really need to get to work on final course papers and study for exams.

This semester has been lively, with 18 credit hours of senior year courses, three days a week working at a startup, involvement on two campus organization’s executive boards, volunteering on two teams at Crossroads Church, leading two small groups which are offshoots of said church, writing weekly for the Odyssey, doing photo/video for a studio and as freelance, and working at the Mariemont Chapel, coordinating and doing sound for weddings there. I’ve been blessed with rich opportunities to grow, to work hard, to step outside my comfort zone, to lead, and to serve.

I was somewhat anxious going into this semester, wondering if I would be able to handle all that I had committed to and scheduled for myself. Honestly the anxiety before doing any of it vastly surpassed the actual challenges faced. Once my courses have finished, I’ll be able to let out a deep, cathartic exhalation. Will next semester be void of activity and fulfilling activities? No. And I hope it will be even more enriching. But, my anxiety is no longer due to uncertainty of handling the next semester, but this time it is about what will happen after.

I don’t know if I truly feel anxiety though. Really, it is a feeling of uncertainty. The world will be open for me in a new way, at least more than it was after finishing high school. There is a freedom in that thought, but there is also anxiety because I want to choose a good option and not end up in a meaningless, stagnant period of life. I want to truly find what I’m good at and do that to the best of my ability.