For most of my life, I had this misconception that being vulnerable was a weakness. Growing up, I learned that I had to be strong so I would not get taken advantage of. I learned that I needed to mask my fears and not let anyone into my world. So when I was diagnosed with depression in the spring of my sophomore year, I was so ashamed of my illnesses that I kept it a secret for a whole year.

I tried to hide my depression and anxiety because I thought they make me seem weak. I didn’t want anyone to know about my depression, or that I needed help. I didn’t want anyone to see this "ugly" side of me. I feared the stigma and shame associated with it. I thought that I needed to step up my game and put on a brave face even when I was tired and falling apart.

My depression became my secret.

But it was exhausting, constantly trying to conceal the tears, the anger and the thoughts in my head. Depression tried to tell me that I was alone, that I was a burden, that I was undeserving and that I was a hopeless cause. In a fragile state of mind, I started to believe in its lies.

I fought the battle on my own for months. As I grew weary, I began to let people into my world. I let my family and friends become a part of my journey towards recovery. I was reminded of the support system I had pushed away, and that I was not alone.

Embracing vulnerability has allowed me to find the help I needed and ultimately saved my life. I was able to go to therapy, get the prescription I needed and learn to care for myself.

Being vulnerable is scary. It is putting your heart into someone else’s hands, hoping they won’t break it. It is lying naked on an operating table, hoping they won’t hurt you. It is painting your true colors, hoping they will still love you despite the shades of blue and gray. After all, once you expose yourself, there is no turning back.

Vulnerability is a part of being human. While it is nerve-wracking, the love I have received and the self-acceptance I have gained over the past three years is worth every uncomfortable conversation. And most importantly, with vulnerability, I am now able to share my story, with the hope that it will change someone else’s life.