The Not So Obvious Red Flags Of Domestic Abuse And Violence
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The Red Flags Of Domestic Violence And Abuse Are Less Obvious Than You Think

Domestic violence is something you always just think about, but never realize it could very well happen to you.

Hozier & Saoirse, Cherry Wine

The denotative definition for domestic violence is "pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship." Whether you have been impacted by domestic violence or not, it is an important issue that should be addressed. Nobody should ever feel scared in a relationship, either a relationship you choose to be in or one you are born into. It can happen to anybody no matter their gender, race, economic status, political views. These things do not matter because violence is violence and violence is wrong.

People are expected to stay quiet. People do not want to be exposed for their wrongdoings. But if this happens to you and you are comfortable, you need to speak out.

The worst part of domestic violence is that sometimes you do not even realize you are in an abusive relationship until it's too late. There are plenty of red flags, that I have personally experienced but never noticed until it was too late, that lead up to being in an abusive relationship. An abusive relationship can be between a parent and child, a married couple, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or even a friendship.

Red flags can be easily noticed once they are called to your attention. Some of the red flags can be complicated, but if you are even questioning if your relationship is abusive, maybe it is not worth having. I am not saying that if somebody does these to you every now and then it is absolutely an abusive relationship BUT I am saying if you notice these becoming small issues, you might have a bigger issue on your hand.

1. Being overly controlling

With today's way of dating, you are constantly texting and knowing what each other are doing every second of the day. When one party of the relationship takes some time to one's self, a fight might break out. When one party is being way too controlling, you might have an issue pop up that could lead to violent actions. Especially if accusations are involved.

2. Having ridiculous expectations

Expectations can benefit or harm a relationship depending on the situation. One party expecting the other to do things that they should not have to do can turn into a more extreme case. Maybe expecting you to do their math homework just because you did it once for them, and then they get mad at you for not having time to do it three times a week. It can turn into abusive behavior.

3. Taking their anger out on you instead of venting to you

So many times people get venting and taking their anger out on others confused. Taking your anger out on others is honestly apart of human nature here and there. I accidentally do this to my friends sometimes. BUT, if somebody does this regularly to you and is attacking you for something that has nothing to do with you, there is underlying abuse.

If you ever feel you might be in an abusive relationship or need to talk about the abusive relationship you can visit the domestic violence hotline website for more red flags, resources, donate, get help, etc. or you can call TTY 1−800−787−3224 or 1−800−799−7233 if you are afraid of your internet being monitored. Do not wait too late, keep yourself safe!

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Peter Truong

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