Ah, the holidays. The minute your family asks where your significant someone is, Loneliness and Despair come wafting in and wrapping their precious little fingers around your shoulders. They kiss your cheek and pull you in close to give you a hug but then only to disappear when you lean into their embrace.
Loneliness and Despair are a**holes.
They are the ones that make you think drunk or late night texting your crush is a good idea. It's not, so put your phone down and read carefully.
At 11:45 p.m. one night I got a text from a guy I was talking to during the summer. I had thought we were having a casual thing, where we were just talking, kind of testing the waters. However, he was already planning on going away together. Huge red flag, so I pulled away and contacted him less and less. To the point, I was trying to figure out how to get it across to this guy that we weren't going to work out. Halloween weekend I found out he ghosted me. He just disappeared from life...until the other night.
God bless his heart, he tried. I'll give him that. He told me that he would warm me up because he runs warm. Ew. He kept telling me over and over that I was smart, sexy, and fun. Like I already didn't know, but I'll never say no to a compliment. He finally gets to his point, when fishing for compliments and a reaction doesn't work. He tells me, "So, can we maybe get back into this slowly..." almost as if he didn't ghost me out of the blue for "no reason." His roommate later tells me he had just gotten back from a weekend trip to Seattle with his ex-girlfriend.
Here's the thing, in the past I would have been hurt, embarrassed, and still would have crawled back to him. But after 2016 has beaten me down every path I have taken, December 8th was the day I said I had had enough. I refuse to be taken advantage of again just because this guy can't stand to be alone. So I called him out. I asked how his ex was doing and how that weekend went. He immediately ghosted me again.
This guy wanted to have two girls that he could go back to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against talking to a few people to see where things may lead, because sometimes your judgment is definitely clouded and while first impressions are great, only time will tell if you're crazy. But making sure you have someone just so you aren't alone is wrong. I don't know how many times my feelings were brushed aside and I was told to just let it go. If I didn't pick up on his obvious hints, he would get so mad. He was emotionally abusive and wants a girl that'll bend to his every need. A perfect 1950's housewife.
For those who don't know me, I'm a very stubborn, determined, yet very loyal and almost too kind of a person, where I'll allow people to walk over me just so they don't feel hurt. Not anymore. I also remember how people treat me. So, don't cross me.
Do not let anyone tell you how you're supposed to feel. Seriously tell Loneliness and Despair to either pull up a chair or take a hike. You deserve happiness, not a second best. Your significant other should make you feel like you have nothing to lose because you found someone that'll be there to make you smile. If you cannot find that smile, move on. Do not waste your time on people who don't give you the respect you deserve.
Important things to take away:
-don't fish with "I already told you that..." or "I keep telling you that..." that you're [insert redundant compliment here].
- if you want to get back together with someone, try apologizing first instead of expecting them to just run back into your arms.
-don't send late night texts.
-You deserve better, both of you do.
-don't let your inflated ego tell you that you deserve to string two people along because you can't admit you're still in love with the one who broke your heart.
I feel super empowered and slightly full of myself because finally after years of my best friends, Chadwick and Elise, telling me that I need better, that I deserve better; I have finally done it on my own. I've never straight up told some guy that no I didn't want to be treated like dirt. I'm literally on a high because this is the best thing (besides graduating from University and getting a cat from my ex-boyfriend, thanks, friend!) to ever happen to me. I stood up for myself. Pull out the sparklers, pull out the sparkly, shout it from the rooftop that Shannon has finally cared more about her happiness than hurting the feelings and empty promises spoken from a guy.
I challenge you in this next year to become more. Better your life. You know what you deserve so you fight for it and do not settle.
