Life After Revenge Porn

Life After Revenge Porn

My Story.

From the moment I exited the warmth of my mother’s womb and entered the enveloping chill of a judgmental world, I was wrapped in a blanket of shame. My hospital cries were pacified, my jungle gym bruises bandaged- tears wiped away and camouflaged with sticks and stones that claimed be more hurtful than words. Words, however, are sharper than sticks and stronger than stones- they have the capability to both break my bones and shatter my spirit. Despite disabilities and language barriers, every human being is born with the ability to speak. With this ability comes a cloak of consciousness- a filter that shades the truth and only reveals what is socially acceptable. In turn, some speak too much, while others not at all.

As a woman, my voice is often overshadowed by those of men. As a queer woman, my voice is trampled. As a woman suffering from mental illness, it is misunderstood. As a woman without shame, it is feared. Despite this, I speak. Despite this, I write.

When I was fifteen years old, I was a victim of revenge pornography. I was pressured into sending naked photographs to a boy that I liked. After several weeks, I told him that I no longer wished to continue our correspondence, because I was interested in someone else. He then promised he would ruin my life.

He posted the photographs on the internet and send them to my classmates. My naked body was displayed online like a piece of stolen artwork. My voice was stolen. I was in high school. I sat in chemistry class while my classmates whispered about me like I was a stolen diary- a dirty secret. For years, I refused to speak about what had happened to me. I allowed myself to fall victim to humiliation and guilt day after day. I let a boy's need for revenge dominate my every move.

I did not open up about what happened to me for four years. Within that time, I wallowed in fear of humiliation. I did not apply to major colleges or pursue huge dreams and accomplishments for fear that my achievements would spark the pictures to resurface. I hid in the shadow of my fourteen year old self who was a frightened victim of nonconsensual pornography.

One day I realized that freedom is my own choice- and words the weapon I’d use to break the chain of my oppressor. Instead of wallowing in fear, I set myself free by telling the story of what had happened to me. Through writing, I learned that I was not alone. I learned that my soul can create things more beautifully haunting than ghost stories, and that gardens can still grow in achingly empty places.

I believe that individuals are dealt disadvantages as opportunities to change how the world perceives people who are different. By embracing the scars, the hurt, and the raw truths of our mistakes and what has happened to us, we write our own strength. We publish our pasts and write shame off of the pages. We rewrite, we continue, we win.

Each second that I choose noise over silence- I win. When I reclaim my body, I win. I win, I win, I win.

If you see my naked body today, you will see words written on my kneecaps and wrists. You will see cracks that I have not covered. You will see seams that I have not sewn shut. I have stretch marks in my chest where my fear once lived. I’ve grown so much since then. Today, I swallow what has happened to me and spit it out into a book that everyone who has ever destroyed me will have to read- because what I write is more naked than I’ve ever been.

Revenge pornography is an illegal act. If you are the victim of this crime, you are not alone. You deserve to be heard. Know your cyber civil rights. Reclaim your voice. Take back your body. Do not be silent. Do not be afraid.

--------------------------

Resources:

www.cybercivilrights.org

SPEAK UP: End Revenge Porn Crisis Line 844-878-CCRI

Change.Org Petition to Protect Victims: https://www.change.org/p/protect-victims-end-reven...


“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre
minds.” - Albert Einstein


Cover Image Credit: Google

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He Changed Everything.

My soul is richer & my heart is fuller 

Sept 2013 I found myself writing to an evangelist Jennifer Beckham looking for more, looking for answers cause at the time I was in a dark place, and stuck no matter what I did. She wrote back! I cried as I read her respond. She sent me scriptures of who god is and what he wants for us. God says we are more than conquers and endurance develops strength and character. She encouraged me that I was on the right track. Not to give up and she would be praying for me. I saw Jennifer Beckham at a conference that year. I don't remember what she specifically talked about but I remember the feeling. The feeling of wanting to burst out crying, I could feel my eyes being filled with tears, and my heart racing but I wouldn't let out the tears. My pride was too big. I wanted to be strong so I did my best to hold it all in, and I did. At this conference they offered the audience who wanted to go up for prayer and dedicate their life to Jesus Christ. Surprisingly I went up, but I went up with other people that were seeking out salvation. I wasn’t sure if I was going up to support the other people or if it was truly for me. I was confused, even though I said the prayer. I became more confused as the days went on and I wasn't feeling a difference in my life. Nothing was changing. I started reading the bible and many books, listening to sermons, and surrounding myself with positive people. I gave my life to Jesus, but I didn't feel like I was set FREE! I continued feeling empty, lost, broken, guilty, and hurt from the past. There were so many days where I just wanted to give up. Almost felt pointless to fight for my life. At this point in my life I didn't know God very much, but I had just a little bit of faith. My faith was a big as a mustard seed and God took care of the rest. Day by day, year by year I started noticing my life changing. I noticed I was changing. I started feeling happy with who I was and where I was in life. I no longer questioned God about the things that happened to me. In my heart I was ok with the wounds, the hardships, and trials from the past because I now understood those wounds and trials. I realized I was SET FREE! not perfect but set free. I started understanding who I was as a child of our heavenly father. Now it’s Jan 2018 and I’m in awe of who I am and where I am in life, all because of Jesus. His so faithful! I think of the favor, the grace, his mercy, his love, his joy and blessing that he gives me even when I’m undeserving of it, it’s overwhelming. He has never left me nor forsake me. I can say Jesus you changed everything and my heart so forever thankful. 

Today, I encourage you like Jennifer Beckham encouraged me. Keep going and don't give up. No matter what your past looks like believe in your heart that you were created for greatness. Don't let your past determine your future, be the change you want in your life. You have it in you. There is so much more to life, don't miss out on it. It's time to take back your happiness, love, joy, freedom and so much more. It's time to take back EVERYTHING the enemy has taken from you. God has made you an overcomer. I speak it right now, that you will be victorious in 2018 and the years to come. Remember, God loves you! 

Psalm 136:26 (AMP) O give thanks to the God of heaven, for his mercy and loving-kindness endures forever!

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Oprah Winfrey Running For President?

Golden Globe speech sparking some ideas.

As of Sunday, January 7, 2018, Oprah Winfrey made a few remarks during her Golden Globe speech, hinting to her possibly running for president in 2020. Later, two of her friends, who wish to remain anonymous confirm this speculation. One of the friends said that this idea has been looming for months now but that Winfrey did not come to a conscience yet.

The main point of Winfrey's speech at the Golden Globes was the #MeToo movement. She also made a statement of, "A new day is on the horizon", which many liberal celebrities and viewers heard as a possible campaign cry.

At the moment, there is no serious talk right now about her running for president, but some of her fans have voiced their opinions through Twitter and Facebook after she had her speech. Along with her fans, her long time partner, Stedman Graham also mentioned that her running for president was a possibility

However what Winfrey does not have is political experience. When she needs political advice she looks to the Obamas and she fully endorsed Hillary Clinton. We may have our next Democratic candidate for the 2020 election. Although the race for president does not start until after the 2018 midterms, many candidates are getting a head start. Maybe this is her making her first move. What do you think? Will America choose another TV star as our president?

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