To Those That Aren't Receiving The Love They Deserve

To Those Who Aren't Receiving The Love They Deserve From Their Significant Others

Your sanity should always come first.

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I don't consider myself an expert on relationships in any way, but from being in a happy and committed relationship with the most incredible boy, I see how boyfriends should treat their girlfriends. Every girl in a relationship should always feel loved and appreciated and should be treated like a princess. Healthy relationships are compromised of communication, trust, friendship, and most definitely not constant tears.

Obstacles in a relationship are completely normal and even quite important because it's vital to know how your partner will react in a difficult situation, but it's not ordinary to be arguing every single day. Nobody should have to question how their boyfriend or girlfriend truly feels about them or should feel degraded due to their unhappy relationship.

Your partner should be your better half and transform you in a positive way. You should always feel excited to see or speak to your partner and should never consider them a burden. It's important to be able to turn to your significant other when times get tough and trust that they'll always be there to support you and not add to your pain.

I absolutely adore all of my friends and believe that they deserve all the joy in the world. I have very high expectations for their boyfriends or girlfriends because I know what amazing people they are and I hope they find someone even half as incredible as they are.

Too often I see my friends cry for various reasons, but they all can be traced back to the same subject: their boyfriends. Whether their boyfriend kissed another girl one drunken night or called them unkind names, they typically stay with their loved one because they're comfortable with that lifestyle. After multiple phone calls hearing that their boyfriends repeated these actions or progressed to even more vicious behavior, I always wish that I could just end the relationship for them.

Whether I know a person or not, I always feel the urge to protect someone that I see isn't being cherished the way they should be. Relationships should be based around respect and if you can't provide that for your significant other, you simply shouldn't be with them. Nobody is perfect and everybody has their faults, but there will never be an excuse to make someone feel unappreciated or mistreated.

Many people can't detect when their significant other is treating them in an abusive manner or they simply choose to ignore the signs. Abuse does not have to be physical in order to be considered abuse; mental abuse is actually the most common form. Hurtful words can be equally as damaging to a person as physical cruelty.

Name calling, guilt-tripping, and put-downs are just some examples of mentally abusive behavior.

When someone is in love, they often put on a metaphorical blindfold whenever their partner performs immoral actions because they don't want to admit to themselves that it really happened. Nobody wants their relationship to end in heartbreak, so people do everything they can to forgive their significant other and forget about what happened.

Of course, people make mistakes and it's important to be forgiving, but when wrongful actions become repetitive, it should be a major red flag. Fighting with the person you love most every single day takes a large toll on a person and affects their lives as a whole. If you find yourself transforming into a depressive state due to your relationship, it's most likely not one you should remain in.

I don't believe that the primary action that should be taken should be to break up because I'm a firm believer in second chances, but if your partner has been treating you poorly, they need to be made aware that that type of behavior is not acceptable. Once they've been told, if nothing changes after a suitable about of time, it's time to eliminate them from your life.

Breakups are never easy even if you're the one to make the decision, but over time, you'll most likely find yourself feeling liberated and refreshed if you part with your unhappy relationship. That relationship is in no way a complete waste because you'll be made aware of the characteristics that you must beware of in future relationships. Someone out there will be willing to treat you so, so much better, but you have to be willing to find the confidence to leave your abusive partner before you can find that happiness with someone else.

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.
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As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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Top Lang Leav Quotes For The Girl In Love

"Who you love and who loves you back determines so much in your life."

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One of my favorite modern poets is Lang Leav because she captures love and loss in a way that's both easy to read but also powerful. Some of her poems seem simple, but they hold such deep meaning when it comes to love, heartbreak and finding yourself. I'm not going to lie to ya'll, some of her heartbreak poems hit pretty hard. But, this isn't about heartbreak, this is about the beautiful feeling we call love.

Here are some of my favorite quotes by Lang Leav about love:

"It's so dark right now, I can't see any light around me.

That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it but everyone else can."
Love & Misadventure

"You were you,
and I was I;
we were two
before our time.

I was yours
before I knew,
and you have always
been mine too."
Love & Misadventure

"I had my first dream about you last night.
Really? She smiles. What was it about?
I don't remember exactly but the whole time I was dreaming, I knew you were mine."
Love & Misadventure

"I love you, I do -
you have my word.


You have all my words."
Lullabies

"Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another."
Love & Misadventure

"It was a quiet love, a tacit love. It came without prelude or preamble. We never said the word love–we didn't have to. It was in our laughter, in the sense of wonder we found in each other. And if we had doubts then, time has told us otherwise."
The Universe of Us

"How much love is a person capable of giving? I thought I knew the answer until I met you."
Sea of Strangers

"When love finds you, it doesn't come as crashing waves or thunderbolts. It appears as a song on the radio or a particular blue in the sky. It dawns on you slowly, like a warm winter sunrise—where the promise of summer shines out from within."
Memories

Be still, my heart.

Whether you're falling in love or already madly in love, these quotes are sure to hit your heartstrings. Not to mention, they make pretty good Instagram captions for all your sappy love pictures!

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