The only conclusion I can draw from this season of “The Bachelorette” is this: the producers are out to get Kaitlyn. Just look at Britt’s unexpected loss and Brady’s exit; Kupah’s meltdown and subsequent dismissal; Clint and JJ’s weird bromance drama along with Clint’s negative departure; and now, Nick Viall’s entrance into the show. All of these events have happened so far on Kaitlyn’s season, and we’re only in week four. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but I fully believe that all of the chaos that is ensuing on almost every episode is a direct result of the producers’ active attempts to make Kaitlyn look bad. Why would they do such a thing, you might ask? Perhaps because their master plan is to get people to dislike Kaitlyn so that they can bring Britt back next season and enjoy a happy summer of watching Britt fake affection for twenty handsome bros. Like I said, I’m not a conspiracy theorist.
This week’s episode starts off with Kaitlyn, who’s “feeling really upset right now” because Clint did, something? We don’t really get a full picture of why she’s upset, other than the fact that he’s become friends with JJ and that other guys in the house think he’s mean. Clint and Kaitlyn have a conversation and Clint tries to defend himself, but Kaitlyn ultimately decides to give him the boot because she doesn’t trust him. No one seems to care much about this dramatic announcement besides Clint’s partner-in-crime, JJ, who immediately demands an apology from Clint for taking away some “emotional energy” from the night. Some wonderful editing makes sure that this comes literally right after JJ claims that Clint will still be his friend no matter what, and that he will always defend him.
What follows is the most staged, horribly acted bro-fight I’ve ever witnessed in my entire lifetime of watching “The Bachelorette.” There’s not a doubt in my mind that both JJ and Clint are complete frauds, and while their friendship may have added some level of entertainment to the season, I think Kaitlyn describes it best as “a lot of unnecessary drama.”
To ease the tension that was created by Clint’s departure, Kaitlyn decides to cancel the rose ceremony, so all the men get to move on to the next week. Great news, right? Judging by the looks on the guys’ faces, not exactly. Historically on the show, whenever a rose ceremony is cancelled, the contestants cheer and applaud like there’s no tomorrow. Not only will they not be subjected to the hours of taping that a rose ceremony entails, but they’re all still in the running to win the bachelor or bachelorette’s heart. These guys could not have looked more miserable, and Kaitlyn had to tell them that this was a good thing in order to elicit any type of positive reaction. All I can say is, this does not bode well for the rest of the season.
I’m going to refrain from talking about the dates at all, simply because they are so insignificant in relation to the other drama. I only have one thing to say about the dates: watching any group of heterosexual white men participate in a rap battle and/or a Broadway production is so, so painful.
The only thing you need to know about this episode is that it introduces Nick Viall, a former, rather notorious contestant who is now interested in joining the show and dating Kaitlyn. This type of plot device has been used on the show before, where prior contestants have attempted to gain a spot on the season, with the intention to cause friction between the contestants and the bachelor/bachelorette. But never has it worked so successfully as it did this week.
I have so many feelings about this that I can’t even fit them into one recap. Kaitlyn is being duped by Nick, and everyone knows it; he’s clearly manipulating her, and she’s clearly buying it. She wants so badly to let him on the show without hurting the guys’ feelings, so much so that she lets the situation linger for almost a day before making her final decision. This violates rule number one of being the Bachelor or Bachelorette: always be decisive. She even refuses to take the sound advice of former contestant Ashley S. when she gives Kaitlyn a real talk in the salon. Ultimately, Kaitlyn decides to “explore” her relationship with Nick, which is a friendly euphemism for what might happen if Nick Viall ends up as the subject of Kaitlyn’s controversial sex scandal. It’s all downhill from here, and the ominous music that plays as Nick rolls his duffel bag down the hallway towards the guys’ headquarters seems to confirm that.
This is all mostly just sad for me, because I was so hopeful that Kaitlyn would be happy and find love as a reward for having pretended to like Chris for so long last season. But I am equally as upset about Kaitlyn’s turn of events as I am with the show’s insistence that we still care about Britt and Brady’s relationship. They keep ending each sad, drama-filled episode of Kaitlyn’s season with fun clips of Britt and Brady frolicking in the sunshine and licking ice cream cones together. If they’re not trying to convert us to the Church of Britt with this juxtaposition, I don’t know what they’re doing. Also, what’s up with all the bad weather on this season? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen so much inclement weather on this show. Usually the contestants get more exciting sites than dreary New York City in January. Funny how all of Britt’s scenes are on the beach or the Santa Monica boardwalk.
Like I said, I’m not a conspiracy theorist.
