We all seem to think we’ll feel happier and more complete with another person by our side. We want someone to make memories with, someone to share laughter with, someone to love. But sometimes these relationships are filled with more sadness, anger and mistreatment than they are love and laughter. And when this is the case, the end to the “wonderful” relationship approaches as quickly as it began.
But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be grateful for the memories and the lessons learned from the time spent with this person. This is the perfect opportunity to count our blessings and take what we now know for our future selves and future relationships. This is the time to be thankful for our exes and make important realizations.
Repeat after me:
1. I know being alone is okay.
Breakups are always hard. After spending days on end with this one person, letting them into your little bubble and exposing even the deepest, flawed parts of yourself, they’re suddenly gone. But remember you? The beautiful, smart, independent girl who can make herself happy? It might take a little time to remember, but it’s one of the most important things to remind yourself: I am strong and happy and whole without another person.
2. I know what I deserve.
The worst mistake you can make after getting out of a relationship is hopping right back into another. BUT it’s important to be prepared when your next one does come around. Remember why your previous boyfriend is now your ex-boyfriend. Whether it’s because he treated you poorly, or because he was a mean, sloppy drunk, it’s crucial you remember why it ended so you don’t jump back into the same bad relationship. You know what you deserve, so don’t settle for anything less.
3. I know there are many other important people and relationships in my life.
It’s easy to get caught up in a new guy or lose yourself in the excitement of a new relationship. But what we tend to forget about and miss out on while we’re lost are the many other loving, amazing people in our lives: our parents, our siblings, our best friends. As the saying goes, guys will come and go but friends are forever. And so is family. So cherish these relationships and remind yourself next time you meet a boy that they were the ones who wiped your tears and lifted you up when you were down.
4. I know there are other things in this world to love.
We typically spend all of our time and energy on our relationships. So much so that we don’t have any left to spare on our favorite sport or hobby. There are so many wonders in the world, so many treasures; it’s important to find the ones that make us feel rewarded. So take up painting, go on that road trip you’ve been dreaming about, pick up that guitar. Fall in love with it, with whatever you find rewarding and worthy of your time and love.
5. I know I'm one step closer to finding the one.
With every new relationship comes new hope that they are the one: the infamous one and only, the one that makes all our dreams come true. There’s nothing wrong with this. If we didn’t think or hope they were the one, then why would we be with them in the first place? However, considering all of the time we have and all of the people we meet, they’re likely not the one. And when this is the case, pep yourself up by remembering that this only brings you one step closer to your one and only, if he is out there. And even better, you’re equipped with all the lessons and mistakes from the previous relationships.
6. I know I’ll be okay if there isn’t one.
The fact of the matter is we all spend our lives looking for the one and wondering if they will ever find their way. It’s okay to wonder and hope. But what isn’t okay is waiting around for them and banking your life on them showing up. Our sole purpose is not to fall in love but to make something of ourselves, to be incredible people and make a difference in the world. So remember, you will be more than okay without the mysterious “one”. You will be great.
