I have had migraines for a good portion of my life. Like seriously debilitating migraines. They are one of the gifts I got from my lovely genetics. Good skin, nice smile, and horrible migraines (Thanks Mom!). If you have migraines then you know just how much they suck. If you don’t, well you are lucky, trust me. I would not wish one on my worst enemy. I’m going to let you in on a few secrets as to why migraines and some other chronic conditions blow.

1. Puking in cars is no fun: How many times have you puked in a car? No seriously, how many? I can easily recall at least four times and all were due to a migraine. About fifteen years ago I had a migraine start while at work. I did my usual remedies, and since I worked about an hour from home I tried to wait it out. When that didn’t work I got in my car for the long drive home and made it about two miles away before puking, all over myself, in my car. I literally had to dash in the house and straight into the shower. Then come and hose out the inside of my car. At least that time I was alone. Another time about three years ago was at a friend’s birthday dinner. The migraine had started prior to dinner and on the way home, you guessed it, at least this time it was not inside the car. We pulled in the driveway and I threw open the car door and layered the driveway instead and in front of some of my closest friends, talk about embarrassing.

2. The Migraine Hangover: If you like to party every once in a while you have surely experienced a hangover at some point. Well the migraine hangover is pretty much the same, however it is missing a key component, the alcohol, and if you did it right the good time you had as well. I can have a migraine and be better the next day, but still feel sick and lethargic. Unfortunately a greasy meal or a little “hair of the dog” will not cure this hangover.

3. Intramuscular Shot: Having cyclical migraines are the worst. They can last for three or more days. My worst one lasted two months. They come in waves and nothing seems to rid your body of the pain. If you are really lucky you get to go to the E.R. or an urgent care where they stick you in ass with a shot of something to break through the pain. Then you get to lay there and feel woozy before going home and straight to bed. My saddest time of having to get this fun dose of medication was the day I was supposed to leave on a trip to New York with my husband for our five year anniversary. That helped for all of half a day and then I got to continue my wonderful vacation while running to the bathroom to puke at Yankee Stadium or missing out on the nightlife.

4. Missing Out On Things: I have missed so many events, days of work, and great opportunities simply because I got a migraine. They also put a new spin on “Not tonight honey, I have a headache.” In our house the running joke is that I never feel good. It’s just expected that mommy has a headache or is not feeling well. My husband has even started his own photography centered centered around my not feeling well. This is his favorite picture to torment me with:

5. Everyone Has a Remedy and Most Don’t Work: I have tried everything short of actual witchcraft to get rid of my migraines. Sometimes things will keep it at bay or I will find temporary relief, but inevitably the migraine will come back and with a vengeance. I have an arsenal of drugs, oils, ice packs, coca cola, and more which I rotate when I feel one coming on. I have tried acupuncture (which totally works, if you can afford to go every week). Chiropractors and physicians have both helped, for a time.

But...

6. There is No Cure: I may be able to get rid of a migraine, but there is not a cure for this condition. The migraines will always come back and I have found that as I have gotten older they have found new ways to antagonize my body. The migraine’s grip is stronger and sometimes longer too. I also now to get to enjoy my pal the migraine along with my favorite aunt, you know the one, Flo.

While I often feel alone in this I know I’m not as there are 38 million people in the U.S. alone that suffer from migraines along with me. So yes, migraines suck and if you see the lights dimmed or me rubbing my head or neck I am probably having one. Heck, my head is throbbing right now. Anyone want to bring me an ice pack and a coke?