I had an original idea with how I wanted this article to go but decided to take it in a completely different direction. In my original idea, I described letting go as if it were an instant transformation but I can be real with you guys, it took me three, almost four, years to completely let go of a friendship. This is one of the longest struggles I've had to go through but now that I did it, I want to share my story.

As said prior, letting go is extremely difficult, at least for me. Once I have a friendship with someone, especially a deep one, it's hard for me to let it end especially in a crash and burn type of way. But here we are, three years after the start of the end and I was still trying to salvage what I could.

Me being able to let go didn't happen until I completely and fully realized that this friend was no good for me. Four or so years ago I called this friend by best friend. Meaning that this was basically the best I could do friend wise. We started out extremely close freshmen year, hanging out all the time, texting all the time, we met years prior but they just came to our school as a new student from a private school. I already knew them and boom, friends for life. But once this time of four years ago came about, it was decided that I wasn't needed anymore. They met my friends I've had for years and they slowly became mutual friends, by this point they were probably closer to them than I was.

I slowly began to realize I just wasn't wanted around them. And while the past two years of college I have met people who I know will be friends with me forever and they are all amazing, I can't help going back to what happened. I have texted this friend on multiple occasions, always first, to offer to hang out, offer well wishes and what not yet plans always became canceled, nonexistent and all conversations were cut short. I knew we had such a great friendship in the past but after writing about how high school changed me for the worst and the better, they thought I threw that friendship in the trash. Before they even thought about messaging me, I already messaged them apologizing if the memo got blurred through my piece, I didn't mean for any feelings to get hurt.

Yet here we are, months later and I am still blamed for the relationship going down the toilet. It's been driving me insane the past few months, to points that I lie awake wondering what the heck went wrong and why I am putting all the blame on myself. But now, here I am, taking a stand that while I am not putting the blame on anyone else, it was a joint effort on both our parts. Yes, I became more distant, because why the heck would you be friends with someone who isn't returning the favor, such as never inviting you to hang out. But in addition, this friend never tried to get me back when the distance occurred. By that point, I already had my mind set that we will still get along, just never in the same way.

However, I loved the memories we had together so much that it was hard to completely go away, I didn't want to. They misinterpreted that I wanted nothing to do with them ever again. But now I'm at a point where I did the best I could and they haven't done anything. Each offer of hanging out was shut down by clearly lots of plans they have made with the former mutual friends of both of us.

So now, as I write this on August 5, 2016, I realized something, it's not worth my time anymore. Not worth trying to mend this bridge that very clearly is being burned from the other end. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever and if they clearly aren't making an effort, why must I take this on like a second job? The fact of the matter is I learned to let go. It took a long time but I have learned that my success and ability to maintain friendships isn't awful because a former best friend forgot about me. I used, this time, to get stronger, smarter and get an amazing niche of friends from both high school and college who care about me unconditionally.

It's extremely hard to let go but once you do it, it feels absolutely amazing.