If you've ever been out with a group of girls, at some point in the night it will be likely that a girl will say "I need to go to the bathroom" and other girls will go with her even if they don't need to use it.
This is often a point of humor for other people and has been joked about all around the world. Seemingly, it is kind of strange that women go to the bathroom in groups. However, the roots of this are dark and unsettling.
Since childhood, girls are taught to never go anywhere alone, to be polite, and keep their heads down in the face of men in a demure manner. We are taught that if a man offers endearing/complimentary words we should say thank you and smile. No matter how unwanted they are, we should be thankful for them because they're just being nice. And if we don't respond kindly or respond at all, we are told we should smile more or get yelled obscenities at. In some cases, women have ended up dead for speaking against cat-callers or ignoring men's advances.
When in a club women will come up with signals for their friends if they're being bothered by a man and want a quick escape. Rather than being able to say "No thank you, I'm not interested" they turn to their friends to come up with excuses for them to exit conversations or dances. And if they don't have friends around, rather than saying "No thank you, I'm not interested" they will say something along the lines of "I have a boyfriend/fiancé/husband" because often times that cat-caller has more respect for the women's partner than he has for her.
It would seem as though there are laws protecting women against this sort of thing, but there aren't. There aren't laws protecting women against the men at bars who slap girls butts while they walk by. There aren't laws protecting women against men in clubs who grope women as they dance or rub their pelvises on them to turn themselves on. There aren't laws against men yelling out "Hey sexy!" on the street as women walk by. Though there should be, there aren't, and so women are left to defend themselves.
Whether it be a signal to a friend, excuses that are likely false, or going to the bathroom in groups, women have created strategies, knowingly or not, to protect themselves. It has been engrained in us from a young age to never go anywhere alone, because nowadays even going to the bathroom isn't safe for women. Maybe one day women will be able to go to bathrooms or bars without feeling threatened or unsafe. But for now it's starting with the little things.
So the next time you see a group of girls going into the bathroom in a group, rather than poking fun, take a moment to remember just why it is they're doing it. Or the next time you see women being catcalled at, why not stand up for them? Or even offer your words of support. Little changes like this in both our actions and mindsets are the start to a better tomorrow for our women and girls.
