Following legislation in North Carolina banning transgender members of the community from using the public facilities of the gender they identify by, there have been conversations on both sides of an increasing divide. There has been an outcry calling for compassion for the daughter’s of America who could be molested in the safe haven of a public bathroom by a man pretending to be a transgender woman. Facebook has been filled with pleas to lawmakers to consider the children who would have to endure such crimes, even though there have been few, if any, documented cases like the ones illustrated in the numerous cartoons. Perhaps you can tell, but I’m tired of it, and here are some of the reasons why.
Since when did we start caring about America’s daughters? Where is a similar outrage to the wage gap? Where are the demanded changes to a system which makes it a feat for someone’s daughter to be believed in reporting a rape? If we want to talk about women’s issues, let’s do it, it’s long past time, but if you are using purely hypothetical issues of rape and sexual crimes due to an inclusive perspective on bathroom policies to defend your bigotry and transphobia then there isn’t room for you in this conversation.
On the other side, why are we so comfortable with having these child molesters going to the bathroom with our sons? What are we saying to them, “sorry son, but to keep these criminals from the women, we’re sticking them in here with you”? Why are we so concerned with keeping them out of the bathrooms while being disinterested in keeping them off of the streets?
RAINN reports that 97 of every 100 rapists will go free. So what about our daughters? If we’re ready to talk about the world that they live in, then let’s talk about more than their bathroom experience, which hasn’t proven to be threatened by the LGBTQ community in the least. Let’s talk about how they are at a statistically greater risk of being raped in their own bedroom than in the bathroom of Target with 4/5 of assaults being committed by someone the victim knows.
I know it’s scary. I don’t have a daughter, but I have a mother and a sister who mean the world to me, and the thought of them being attacked in these ways keeps me up at night, but these policies aren’t the answer. This community of people is fighting the same fight that you are trying to avoid. Most reports show that half of the transgender community has experienced sexual violence in their lifetime. The Williams Institute also reported that 78 percent of transgender individuals that experienced physical or sexual abuse had attempted suicide. So why are they the villains?
So yes, lets please talk about changing these statistics. Let’s talk about women’s issues. It’s about time that we start caring about America’s daughters, but sadly, I don’t think this is the fear of those posting cartoons and comments. Perhaps their fear isn’t men going to the bathroom with their daughters but rather their daughters coming to them saying that they would feel more comfortable going to the men’s.
