Real-Life Fairy God Mothers | The Odyssey Online
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Real-Life Fairy God Mothers

Stay-at-home moms are super important, and feminism is super important...and they aren't mutually exclusive.

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Real-Life Fairy God Mothers
@Nezzabella

I'd like to begin by saying that I always appreciate my mom and all she does. But, like many of us, it takes an absence of something to truly appreciate it, and given that my mother is moving my sister into her new life, I really appreciate everything she does as I am now the only one doing it. I didn't sit down for multiple hours today because I was running around the house, emptying the trash, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning the bathroom, picking up prescriptions, getting gas, making a grocery list... and it will all. Start. Again. Tomorrow. How my mother manages and managed to do all this plus raising four kids for the past thirty years is absolutely beyond me. She truly is a superhero and a real-life fairy godmother. I am forever grateful for all she does and continues to do for me....so you can imagine my anger and frustration when people have the audacity to say she doesn't have a "real job." A "real job"? Excuse me? I'd argue that she has one of the hardest jobs around; shaping some of the future generation. She works her backside off every day not only to keep the house in order and maintain the quotidian necessities of life but also to instill morals in her children and help them become good humans/neighbors/sisters/brothers/friends/etc. It's a 24/7, 365 days-a-year job with no salary, no breaks, and no benefits. Yet she and so many other women do it graciously and well. In researching for this article, I saw a quote that said: "being a stay-at-home parent is a luxury, but it's not luxurious." I think this sums it up well--my family was blessed with the capability for one parent to work and the other to stay at home and raise the kids. Not everyone has that capability. I acknowledge that privilege and honor/respect those who don't have such a choice, as well as the sacrifices and hard work to which stay-at-home moms/dads commit. However, I don't acknowledge the validity of the argument that being a stay-at-home mom is anti-feminist. My mother actively chose to be a stay-at-home mom; she did not make this decision because she felt pressured to or because that was "her place as a woman." She had the privilege to be able to choose whether or not to stay at home with her kids, and she chose to. It is this choice and free-will decision-making that truly characterizes feminism. My mother chose to do and does what she wanted and felt was most important: to raise her kids at home. She is one of the strongest women I know, and much of my emphatic feminism comes from her guidance and example. Anyone who says that a woman has to work outside of the home to be a "true feminist" needs a refresher course in one of the core tenets of the feminism: the freedom and inherent right to choose. So don't forget to thank you fairy godmother, whoever that person is/however they identify/relate to you. Because without them, no happily ever after has a chance.

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