The Dream Women Are Ashamed To Admit
Start writing a post
Adulting

It's 2019 And Women Are Ashamed To Admit They Want To Raise Families

If you really believe in a woman's right to her life, don't set conditions.

1786
Young family

There is still truth in the statement "it's a man's world."

I am all for women in power because the struggle to show our strength and earn our rights has been a long one, and still, to this day, it can be a struggle.

In no way is this article saying that I think all women should settle down and submit to a man, so let's get that straight.

However, I do ask the question, why is starting a family a dream women now are scared or ashamed to admit? I've worked with young women who have no interest in starting a family what so ever, and there is the occasional one who will ask me why I want to have one. Most will respect my opinion, but as I said, there is the occasional, usually passionate feminist, who tells me that's not what I want.

Ever since I was young, I have dreamt of having a family. I have a bazillion baby names I absolutely adore. Almost daily, I dream of a future husband who will love me and grow old with me. But let me reassure all the feminists who are shuddering about now, I don't plan on playing housewife. I don't need to hear your June Cleaver jokes.

I fully intend to get either a Master's or Doctorate in the field I am studying. And I'm not going to "throw it away" to start a family.

Enough about me though.

There are several, single young women, like myself, who want nothing more than a wedding ring, the kids, the house, the whole white picket fence dream. And their dreams should never, ever, be called wrong. Their hopes are not silly. They are not women who drool at a man's feet or sit around staring out the window, waiting for Prince Charming.

These women are loyal, hard-working, funny, kind, beautiful, intelligent, etc. and deserve everything they have worked for in their life so far. But after all is said about their current life, work, and goals. There is always one thing you can just tell by looking at them that they haven't listed all their life goals. There is that one thing they don't want to admit, because of all the judgment from other women. They're afraid that it will make them look weak or silly.

A young woman should not have to fear that if she admits to wanting a family, all that she has worked for will disappear and other women will seize to see her strength and determination. The idea has become one that makes young girls blush as though ashamed of wanting something so trivial.

Trivial.

So ladies who shame young, fellow females for wanting a family... please tell me this. How is wanting to carry a child literally inside you for nine months and give them your all, your life, your love to them for more than 18 years, weak? How is wanting to learn to die to self and become more caring, shameful? How is wanting to serve someone with all your heart, body, and soul, silly? How is wanting to better your skills by learning to cook for more than one and have clean clothes to wear, stupid? How is going to bed, tired from work but knowing you are loved and relied on by the ones you love, trivial?

Let me help you: it's not.


This generation is a big hubbub of confusion and contradiction. It's plastered all over social media that we as females need to stand together but when a young woman has the audacity to talk about or post about wanting a family, immediately other women tear her down.

We're slowly forgetting how much strength it takes to be a mother and wife. We marvel at her physical strength as she carries a child and gives birth. But what still remains forgotten by women who haven't experienced motherhood or been reminded, is the strength a woman shows as she lays down her life for her home every day.

Life has become so modernized. Houses have to be Pinterest worthy instead of comfortable. Young couples have to maintain "goals" status on Facebook while their relationship consists of pretty much texting. Love is no longer pure, it's all about sex. Sex is no longer shared it's serving one's self. Marriage is no longer forever, it's until "this isn't working for me."

A woman wanting a family is no longer seen as brave but slowing down feminist's progress.

It's as if giving up your life for others is no longer an incredible thing. But it can't be, right? I mean, we admire our heroes on the battlefield, those who risk their lives for justice, people who would risk everything for the ones they love.

But marriage and motherhood? Get with the times, lady, it's 2019.

No!

Stop with the shaming. Start showing love and support. If you really believe in a woman's right to her life, don't set conditions. Don't laugh when she says she wants to have a family, she didn't laugh when you said you didn't.

Report this Content
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

71147
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

133017
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments