Forget failing exams, making drunken mistakes, or surviving without any sleep. There's a new, unpredictable fear stretching across college campuses throughout the nation: clowns.
Towns across the United States have been disturbed by clown sightings accompanied by reported attacks or people getting chased. People have been arrested. Schools have canceled classes. Hysteria is mounting. Excuse the pun, but it's a circus out there. It's the kind of mayhem that only GIFs can explain, and what people know more about everyday life being a hectic circus than the cast of "The Office"?
1. Rumors of a clown sighting begin to spread.
First you hear it in passing. Then you get a text from a friend asking if you've heard the news. Then everyone in the hallway is talking about it, it's on your Twitter feed, and you also have five Snapchats about it.
2. Thing is, all of the stories are different.
North campus is on lockdown. No, the clown is on the western side of campus. No, there isn't a clown. Yes there is, my friend told me she saw it. Actually there's three clowns. Someone got arrested. No, the cops are just out on patrol.
3. So someone is actually dressed like a clown, or someone is making it up to scare people.
Either way, it's a recipe for disaster. Whoever is perpetuating it needs to STOP.
4. Someone sends you pictures of the campus jester.
It's most likely a fake image pulled from Google, but it's still creepy.
5. People decide to go after the clown(s).
Clown hunting has now become an organized activity on some college campuses. This is not a joke.
6. Others discount the rumors or don't care to react.
Just sit tight in your dorm. Life goes on.
7. Meanwhile, the RAs, campus staff and police are trying to calm down the masses.
My RA knocked on every door in the hall to check on people.
8. "I don't even know how to process this situation."
Is there a campus protocol for clown attacks? Did anyone foresee this being an issue?
9. It's starting to feel like your fear of clowns is being personally preyed upon.
"Coulrophobia" is the term for an excessive fear of clowns, although the word isn't recognized by the Oxford English Dictionary or any psychology manual.
10. Admittedly, the whole scenario is rather amusing to witness.![]()
Who would have thought you could join a clown-hunting group in college?
11. But still stupid.
The fact clowns are being spotted on multiple campuses across the country and students are completely losing their minds over it...really guys?
12. Until there actually IS a clown.
You have evidence that there's actually a clown?
...
Guess it's time to go home. See you never.
13. People need to stop clowning around.
I can only make that pun because of our current situation. So don't blame me for how cringe-worthy it is, blame society.
It's probably not a good idea to dress as a clown for Halloween this year. Clowns were meant to be a source of happiness, laughter and entertainment. Unfortunately, a select few perverted them into frightening monsters, and now people are taking advantage of it. How many times will people have to cry clown before this mass panic fades away?