You are not a victim. Get out of the mindset that something horrendous happened to you. You got laid, maybe even lost your virginity. You should be downright thankful for that.
Do you have bruises and/or cuts? Those are just love-marks. They will disappear just like hickeys do, so do not stress. In fact, you wanted those love-marks.
Do not cry "rape." Do you really think someone cares that you had sex? Reality check, they don't. The person who "raped" you is off celebrating with their friends because they got laid - do the same. Do not report it.
Do not wear skimpy clothes if you don't want the attention. If you wear skimpy clothes, you are just asking for it. If you don't want to have sex, go out in turtle necks and not tight-fitting clothes. Come on, use common sense now.
Nobody cares. I can guarantee you that if you were drunk, you were asking for it. Nobody cares whether or not you passed out. You went out for a reason, drank for a reason, and ended up getting laid. Congratulations.
If you're drinking, don't drink too much. If you can't handle your liquor, don't drink. If you pass out with no recall of what happened, that's on you. That is your fault. If you can't drink responsibly, that is your fault, not the one that had sex with you. Even if you wake up all bloody with love marks and you can barely walk, it is on you. You chose to drink, you chose to have sex.
No consent? Did you not hear the news flash? No means yes and yes means yes. Stay on top of it, maybe you would have known that. There is no such thing as rape.
You did not fight back. You did not fight, so that means you enjoyed it. Therefore, no "rape" occurred. Sorry, not sorry, pay closer attention next time.
Dislocated bones? Oh, do not worry about those. That just means you like it rough, you better get used to it.
All of those statements? WRONG. It is NEVER the victim's fault. When did it turn to be more shameful to be raped than to be a rapist?
It does not matter if you were drunk - if you are unable to give consent, it is rape. It does not matter how much you drank. If someone is passed out, they cannot give consent!
Dress as you please, if you want to go out in a bralette, cardigan, and shorts, do it. It does not matter. If you believe clothes determine whether someone wants to be raped or not, here is a little insight. A female wearing a bathing suit and you moving the bottoms over, DOES NOT give consent, even if she was drinking. If a female is wearing pajamas, it DOES NOT give you consent. If a female is wearing a t-shirt and shorts, it DOES NOT give you consent. In order to get consent, you have to ASK for it. Ask for consent, even if you are in the middle of having sex, just ask.
Someone not fighting back does not mean they want it. They could have froze after saying "no" or "stop" and you did not.
If you receive dislocated bones, bruises, or even cuts, please reach out to someone. Please do not be afraid. People truly do care.
Every day, I see more and more rape jokes and how it is the victim's fault. Both are wrong. Rape is not the victim or the survivor's fault. They have the right to drink, go on a walk, and dress however they want. They have the right to trust who they are with, make their own choices, and also be responsible for them. But no one, no one has the right to perpetuate abuse against another. No one has the right to rape another. If rape was about how revealing clothes are, the rates would dramatically increase during the summer. If rape was about how much sex someone has, virgins would not be raped. But they do. If rape was about how much someone drinks, sober people would not be raped. But, again, they do.
Rape can happen anywhere, at your best friends' house, in your own house, at the bar, in the streets, in a pool, anywhere. It could be a complete stranger, your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even a family member. At the moment, a rapist may not think of how their actions will affect the one they are raping. The catcalling, rape jokes, misconceptions, and everything in between needs to stop. Maybe my words may not change how you see rape, but I hope they do.
Do not forget, males can be raped too.
If you are a victim of sexual assault, know you are not alone. Know your voice has been heard.
Do not be afraid to reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673.
