With the recent release of "13 Reasons Why," the Netflix series that follows the story of Hannah Baker, a teen who takes her own life as the result of bullying, harassment, and rape, I wanted to share some thoughts on the subject of rape. As controversial, embarrassing or taboo it is to speak out about, it needs to be discussed more deeply over our generation because it is an issue that doesn't see enough coverage and happens way too often.

This show really inspired me. Despite the controversy over the show itself, whether it should be praised or not, there is no denying it does a great job showing the realities of depression, rape and portraying other present struggles of teens in today's society. I really hope with the very explicit but real content of "13 Reasons Why" people become more aware of such issues, and that more needs to be done in attempts to resolve or prevent such life-altering struggles.

"That could never happen to me."

I remember sitting on my couch late one evening. Wearing my blue fuzzy socks, I thought, "That could never happen to me. That doesn't happen in small towns like this." Almost laughing it off, I honestly hadn't a clue. I was alone, watching one of those forensic file television shows. The episode I was watching was focused on a rape victim. I had never seriously considered that something like that would happen to someone like me, because well, I just didn't.

And you never think it could happen to you until it does.

I was raised into a society that led me to believe that this type of thing only happened to the super pretty girls, with their low cut shirts and provocative lipstick colors. The only coverage it received in my life was fake forensic shows that portrayed it like this and sad attempts from social media to warn females to not "provoke men with revealing clothing." You see, we were bred into a society where not only was the man not wrong for wanting sex (a natural drive), but it suddenly became the woman's fault for provoking him (or vice versa.) Many things stated were, "You were asking to be raped if you wore a skirt." And instead of teaching the men to control themselves, we taught the females to cover up. But low cut shirts don't cause rape.

I live in a time when rape is of much concern, but in all reality, no one is very concerned at all. We hear it on TV, and occasionally hear the horror stories in the news but not once did my high school, my teachers, my family, my counselor, or my friends talk about the subject, warn me, or prepare me to believe, "it can happen to anyone." As women, as sad as it is we are victims of a predisposed idea that our femininity causes us to be weak and fragile. No one wants to admit it, but much of this traditional gender idea is upheld, and yet we are not offered or taught how to defend ourselves from rape in a traditional setting. I have to go pay hundreds of dollars for a self-defense class just to know how to protect myself. Now I'm not trying to cause a tantrum of women's rights, it's just the honest to god truth. There is a very high number of high school/college age students committing rape, or becoming victims of rape and school systems don't do much about it. We should be offering some sort of class or a program to children who are victims. At the very least the school systems should be encouraging counselors, teachers, and families of the children to be discussing the topic. We can try to teach the men to control themselves, and we can try to teach the girls to cover up, but no matter what it's still going to happen and we need a plan B. I am aware rape doesn't just happen to females, males are just as at risk, but neither sexes receive education on the subject. If at all, it's one week of coverage in a general health class. What's even worse than not teaching them about it at all, is there is no support system for the aftermath. What happens after rape? Do you go to the police, even if you don't have evidence? How will your parents react? How does this affect you personally?

I sure didn't know what to do after I was raped, not the first time, nor the second time.

I stopped breathing and figuratively placed my name in blatantly bright red words across a black and white newspaper. "Rape." Just imagine; He slams your wrists down on a wooden table, accident or not, it hurts, so you lay there motionless and unsure of what to do. You can't ever mentally prepare yourself for what lies next. Your body is numb as he whispers profanity in your ear. Vomit breaches your throat as you think of the disgusting words he said. You want to pull away from the instant trickle of needles down your back but you're afraid any movement might make him tighten his grip around your body. "That could never happen to me. "What wasn't pain, wasn't pleasure either. Even when tears fill your eyes, he doesn't stop the tugging at your thighs. Slimy fingers wrap around the confines of your neck, almost so tight it's as if he wanted to crush your vocal cords–then even if you tried to scream nothing would come out.

I started to coax you in attempts to stop the pain. "Let's just sleep," didn't work, nor did "I don't want to do this," convinced you. Not even "stop" made you consider I was in pain. Not sure if you were aware but you struck my face–on who knows what, your elbow, the table–I was always unsure myself because I squeezed my eyes shut the entire time. So as you penetrated my dignity, thinking it was okay, I was slowly starting to feel dead inside. Each stroke, my breaths became more and more shallow and then it stopped. You pushed me off the couch and that was it.

But that was only number one.

I tried to seek help afterward, confiding in my friends but no one really seemed to care. Everyone thought I lied. The only response I received was "what happened to your face?" "It looks like you got punched." I heard the laughing when people found out. I saw the dirty looks when the lies began to spread. I waited too long to report my incident, I let the bruises fade before I ever even accepted that it happened. My counselor was never in when I walked past her office. The boy I liked stopped looking at me the way he used to. I was never taught what to do when something like that happened. I was never told what I should do afterward, nor that it was even possible it could happen to someone like me.

It doesn't always have to be a stranger off the streets or the mysterious boy who slips drugs into your drink at a party, or even when you're too drunk to realize. Sometimes it can be someone you know very well, a friend, maybe even someone you thought you trusted. You'd think the boy I was choosing to date would have more respect for me and my body, but who knows, my mom always said I had a bad taste in men. I had already been violated but I didn't know how to handle it. As a result, I found myself with a lot of bad people and a lot of bad friends who happen to do a lot of bad things.

You threw me across the room onto your friends bed out of anger that I wouldn't touch you. Then you willingly allowed your friend to climb on top of your naked girlfriend's body. No, you actually chanted him on. "You're going to f*** my friend." Even though I was bleeding from the womb, that didn't stop him. You used your elbows to pin me down to the bed and covered my mouth. I flinched my body as the foreign object sucked whatever dignity I had left, right out of me. Crying and pleading "please stop" as my head hit the wall over and over again, but you didn't. I could feel the red liquid substance warm against my back and legs. Covered in blood, you still didn't stop. The amount of time was only minutes, but to me, it lasted years. I tried to keep my eyes shut but I had to look beyond the perpetrators face seeing the man I called "boyfriend." But as I cautiously opened my eyes, I saw him sitting there watching me plead in pain–and continued to do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

In that moment I remembered sitting on my couch watching that forensic show about the girl who got raped. I remembered myself saying, "that'll never happen to me." But it did, and it can happen to anyone. I didn't wear a low cut shirt, or fancy makeup. I wasn't flirting, or provoking. I was sitting there with no makeup, in an old sweater and jeans.

I want to make it absolutely clear that it can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime. One thing we need to do differently is offer our teens, and young adults education on the subject of rape. Not through tv shows and news articles we don't even bother to read, no, we need to be taught, shown and educated. Even if its just a counselor giving presentations on the subject a couple times a year. I was never given any information on what to do, nor taught what signs indicated there might be danger. And maybe if I was taught, this would have never happened to me. There was no support system in place, at least not that I was aware of. So even after it happened, I had no where to go. The students, the teachers, the counselor all watched me stop eating, stop going to class, falling behind and quite literally crying in the halls, but no one did anything. The counselor went to my church and instead of reaching out to me when she heard, she told her son (who was in my grade) and then instantly the whole school knew. Instead of compassion, or concern, my teachers gave me dirty looks. How does that make a child (a victim of rape) feel safe or understood? How does that offer someone struggling, anything at all?

I want to make it known that rape is real, rape is here, rape happens anywhere. It isn't a joke. It isn't just in the fake forensic tv shows. It doesn't happen just because you wear red lipstick or a crop top. And I want to make it known that school systems don't do anything. You need to do more.

To anyone who is reading this that has been raped and stayed quiet about it, you are not alone. I am here for all of you. I know the subject is difficult, and can cause some emotional struggles as well. So below I have listed some contacts.

If you or a loved one has been raped or has been thinking about suicide because they have been raped/sexually assaulted, please contact these numbers: National Sexual Assault Hotline- 1-800-656-4673 (You can also confidentially chat with them online) and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline- 1-800-273-8255

What would you do if you found out your child had been raped, and there was no education on the subject offered at your school, there was no support system and the school knew of their struggles, yet did nothing?