Let's face it. It's hard to get a date in this day and age. It is even harder to get into a fulfilling and lasting relationship. Partially it’s because people are very picky when it comes to searching for someone.
People prefer things like having a sense of humor, having nice hair, having good hygiene or even having nice teeth. Some people even consider a person's height when thinking of their Mr. or Mrs. Right. I'm not making this up, check a guy's Tinder and he'll probably have something like this: "I'm six 6'4'' if that matters."
To someone, it matters.
But, with people's preferences comes absentminded yet very ignorant statements like the following:
"I would never date someone in a wheelchair."
"I would never date someone with an illness."
Or my absolute favorite.
"I would never date a black girl."
Lately, there has been a growth of people racially favoring when it comes to them being romantically involved. It is shocking.
Today's stereotypes and simple-minded mentality make it possible and okay in our society.
The demographic of POCs in general are outnumbered by Caucasians. But when it comes to dating, it's as though the POCs are mystical creatures who are somewhat forbidden and somewhat dangerous because people heard false folktales about us. But black women, specifically, are seen as the undesirables.
In an "OkCupid" statistic, it is proven that, (in this order) men are more likely prefer a Caucasian woman, either Asian or Hispanic woman and then an African American woman.
These days it feels like any man on this planet would have no problem saying, "I only date white girls."
This is me being completely honest about what I have seen and me not being bitter, thank you very much.
I've heard this on several occasions and I always ask, "Why?" Black girls are magical.
Black girls have a lot to offer and we are beautiful and powerful as hell.
It's because Caucasian girls are simple. They sit around taking basic selfies of themselves and occasionally roll their eyes and shrug off any social injustice issue that surfaces. White women these days have nothing to worry about. They have privilege and we barely do.
They aren't as complex as other WOCs in the sense of their diversity. Women of diverse backgrounds, like black girls, aren't afraid to live through their culture and correct people when they are wrong. I guess that's deemed as unattractive.
Then the male species get all defensive.They puff out their chest and put their hands out in front of them and say "No, no. I don't mean it like that. I just have a type. Don't get me wrong. You're pretty...for a black girl."
Here is a tip: This is the worst compliment anyone can give a black woman.
That very ignorant phrase sounds like you (the male species) never found women in that race attractive. Never use this as a compliment.
In a "Those People" post written by Patience E. Randle, "[The 'You're Pretty, For A Black Girl' Comment], says about you, the person dishing out the “compliment,” that you don’t normally roll with people who look like me, but I’ve become your exception. Why would I want to be your exception? I think I’d want to be around people who found my culture interesting as a whole, not one tiny part of it."
As racial preference flourishes it brings self-hatred. With the lack of acknowledgment, we feel like we will never be good enough.
Then that brings us to the idea that we need to change who we are to be someone you want. But then somehow, in the end, we will never be.
To the ladies who feel this way, know this: You are amazing, beautiful and anyone who isn't willing to see that isn't worth your time.
To men, we are always going to resemble the societal stereotypes that we grew up with. And it is truly disgusting.
But here is what the men need to know: tell women they're beautiful because they are beautiful. Never underestimate the beauty of a black woman.
But like the infamous Frenchy said:
