As I was pondering what to write about this week, I realized that I miss the exercise of Quick Facts that I did almost every year in arts school when I had the memoir/humor class. Quick Facts, are just simple facts that span no more than a paragraph each and are a way to let people know you. As much as I miss this exercise, I realized that my Odyssey bio is pretty short and sweet. And, I realized that I fucking hate filling out bios because it's too open-ended for my liking. So, here are my quick facts.
I think young John Travolta is cute.
A gif of John Travolta Dancing in the movie Saturday Night Fever
It was Grease and Saturday Night Fever that confirmed this for me. Young John Travolta has a cute face, nice body, and an amazing ass. But it's the moves that he has in both movies, especially as he dances to the Bee Gees that I just find sexy in some weird way.
I am convinced that South Norwalk, Connecticut is predicting my future.
A photo of South Norwalk
I shit you not that this is true and you can use Google Maps to call my bluff, but it is. So, let's start off from the beginning. My grandparent's have been living in the same house my whole life. They live close to a street called Baxter Avenue. Coincidentally, I named my first ever dog (whose still alive, by the way) Baxter. The next instance occurred when I noticed that my mother turned onto St. John's Avenue, on our way to my grandparent's house. What school do I go, too. Ummm, Saint John's University. Also, somewhere in the mix of streets in south Norwalk, I found Charles and Michael street/avenue. Well, I dated a guy named Charles and I'm currently with a guy named Michael. Coincidence? I think not.
I once shat on myself.......accidentally.
Melissa McCarthy in the movie Bridesmaids
Technically, everyone shits on themselves because we don't come out of the womb potty trained but this one isn't one of those stories. It happened when I was eight or nine and I was taking antibiotics for a wart or something gross like that and for some reason it messed with my system. When I was younger, my mother and her best friend took me and my best friends to New York City every year for a girl's trip. That year, it felt like the women's bathroom lines were super duper long and this one particular line at a department store not only was long, it was also slow. I tried to hold it. I really did and my mom was cheering me on to hold it, but when I was third in line IT HAPPENED. I shat on myself. I was shooketh. And, all my mom did was wash out my underwear. So, I had to walk around New York City and function with wet, cold, and dirty panties until I got home around 1 or 2 a.m.
I once got locked in a subway car.
A subway car pulling into station
It wasn't my fault at all. I was new to New York City, and I didn't know about the three kinds of subway cars that were used and I was making my way to Brooklyn for the first time, alone using the subway. What was worse was that I was on my way to my friend's Halloween party and I was in a modified version of my costume-- a sexy velvet bunny. I didn't hear the conductor call "last stop" because of the broken intercom. The lights in the car shut off and the doors closed. It was about 10-something at night and thankfully, a kind gentleman got the conductor to let me out.
I have my next three dogs planned out.
A soft-coated wheaten terrier.
A miniature schnauzer named Bernie.
A soft-coated wheaten terrier named Biden.
A pug named Eugene.
After watching The House Bunny for the first time, I wanted to become a Playboy Bunny
Anna Farris in The House Bunny
I was like 10 or so, I don't even know what age I was and I watched the movie with my cousin who is exactly three months older than me named Iman. For some reason, we felt that living in the Playboy Mansion and going on super lavish shopping sprees would be a great way to spend life. It would be like one super big sorority house. Within a few years, I learned what Playboy bunnies actually did and the requirements to be one. I physically didn't meet those requirements, along with my morals.
I only switched to Team Apple to have a gold phone and play iMessage Games
The gold iPhone 8
I am really shallow. I purposely forced my mom to pay extra for my to have the Samsung Galaxy s6 in gold because I really wanted to have a gold phone. Well, galaxies don't come in gold anymore and that really pisses me off because I loved having a gold phone for some reason. But also the iMessage games look super duper fun. I really wanted to play iMessage games. So those are the two reasons why I have the gold iPhone 8.
I wanted to be on a season of Bad Girls Club
Bad Girls Club Logo
They canceled the show prematurely before my two best friends and I could grace the Bad Girls Club house and fuck shit up. I mean, I don't know how to physically fight and my friends and I have almost got into almost physical fights so we would have gotten our asses kicked. But we're still bad as fuck and they should bring the show back just for us.
I'm obsessed with La La Land and The Great Gatsby
Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling in La La Land
They're two of my favorite movies that I love to watch and especially watch with people I'm romantically interested in. To some degree, they show the realness and complexities of true love, which is a reason why I like them. And, to some degree, they're the most realistic interpretation of true love. However, the music of the movies were fucking amazing. But, the best thing is that they're so god damn atmospheric as movies. In every scene and shot, you see everything and nothing. The cinematography is amazing.
My grandparents are my best friends
My grandparents and I
It's sad to say it but they really are. They were the first people that I called with every college acceptance letter that I received instead of my mom or my dad. During college, I always called them before my parents and I think that I always will. Hell, I missed them even more than my mom and my dad. What's funny is that I lived with them this summer and instead of calling them "grandma" or "grandpa" I called them both "roomies". They called me "roomie", too. I will always love the crap out of my Nana and Pop-Pop.