Thankfully, I am very close with my parents. We have a great relationship in which I can express to them what’s on my mind, what my plans are for the night, who I currently have my eye on, and so on and so forth. But there are many questions that make me duck and cover, run to the other room, fake a phone call, or pretty much find any way out of responding.
What was your GPA this semester?
Unless I totally killed it this semester, I would rather avoid this question altogether. Trust me, if I did a great job and I'm proud of myself, I'll disclose this information without them even having to ask me. If I do not chose to do so, just assume I'm still attending and that's all that matters at this point in time.
What do you do at fraternity parties?
If I wanted to answer this question, I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can hardly explain this to my non-Greek friends, let alone censor it enough for my parents whom I don't want to disappoint.
Are you and [name of latest member of opposite sex you've posted a picture with] dating?
Just because I took a member of the opposite sex to formal does not even remotely mean that I am in a relationship with that person. College "relationships" are confusing, and honestly, I probably understand just as much as my parents do and want no part in trying to explain to them what my relationship with Ben, Shawn, Jared, Nick (catch the "Bachelorette" reference?) is at the current time.
I just gave you money last week, how are you already out?
I need Starbucks seven days a week because I'm running on four hours of sleep and honestly, I have no clue how to grocery shop without everything going bad before I have the chance to eat it. My job sucks and I have no idea where all my money is going, but I do know that if I have a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch again today I am going to lose it.
How much money is in your savings?
I haven't had a balance over $100 in my savings since my freshman year. What Savings?
Do you and your roommates ever throw parties?
Translation: What are the chances I'm going to get the deposit back that I lent you?
Should I get a Snapchat?
Snapchatting your Mom might be fun as long as she can't see any of your Snapchat stories from Wednesday-Saturday night. And, if she does eventually figure out how to see them, then it's important to have a no-questions-asked policy.
Did your butt get bigger since the last time I saw you?
It's called Freshman 15. We all know what happened, we all know that my freshman year has been over for quite some time now but have some respect and never speak about it again.
