Christianity is the world's largest religion, with over 2.4 billion followers, or just over a third of humanity. Throughout its history, the religion has weathered divisions and theological disputes that have resulted in many distinct Churches and unique denominations. Worldwide, the three largest branches of Christianity are the Roman Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox Church, and the various denominations of Protestantism, the last of which I, myself, identify.
The term queer is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that are not heterosexual or cisgender. Originally meaning "strange" or "peculiar," the term was originally used in a derogative manner against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the latter nineteenth century. Beginning in the 1980’s, queer scholars and activists began to reclaim the word to establish community and assert a politicized identity distinct from the gay political identity. Queer identities may be adopted by those who reject traditional gender identities and seek a broader, less conformed, and deliberately ambiguous alternative to the LGBT label. It is important to note that there are sexual minorities within the queer minority: rather than being purely "straight" or "gay," many identify as bisexual, asexual, demisexual, pansexual or otherwise. Pansexual is how I, myself, identify.
Being in a middle sexuality, attraction occurs across the gender spectrum, and while the possibility is there for attraction or romance, it does not mean something will happen all the time as attraction is subjective and unique. I am not attracted to everyone, though I feel I have the capability to be attracted to anyone regardless of their gender identity. Furthermore, just because attraction may occur, romantic or personal relationships may be impossible as a result of differing values, interests, opinions or otherwise. At the most basic level, a pansexual is not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender or gender identity.
I grew up in the Lutheran faith. My youth involved lessons and teachings based on what God’s followers are supposed to do in the name of his son, and how there are rules we are meant to follow. Namely, we are not to do anything perceived as sin. Despite all the hardships or doubts, and regardless of events which have tested or made me question my faith, I still identify as a Christian and a believer in God. It has been challenging to accept that along with my sexual orientation.
Remembering and identifying the exact moment I began to feel attraction towards boys as I did with girls is difficult, if not impossible, to do. Towards the end of middle school and beginning of high school is when I began to ask myself, "Do I like both, am I allowed to like both, and how would people react if they saw me with a guy?" These were questions I found myself struggling with regularly, and I did not come out to anyone until my freshman year of college. The fear of being persecuted or bullied within my community was quite real, and I knew many in my school and at church who would not view anyone other than heterosexual favorably.
Leviticus 20:13 and Leviticus 18:22 say: “If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads" and "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." Those verses are there, black and white, as a proverbial death sentence and forceful ostracization of anyone gay, queer or not 100% straight. Marriage is the sacred covenant, a union meant for a man and woman. The argument has spanned centuries, if not millennia, and is still heatedly contested today. I grew up in a predominantly Catholic, conservative area, and along with many other struggles one at that age faces, being accepted was one I had no desire to risk by being out.
There are those who view such a "lifestyle choice" as immoral, disgusting and detestable. There are people within the United States who feel we should be moved to colonies or centers away from society, as we are diseased, sinful, and Satanic abominations. Every so often the most radical adversaries against queer people speak of literal death sentences as those verses stated. To see people who believe in a God associated with my own, people who preach hate and neglect rather than love and acceptance, has helped me realize religion is personal.
I refuse to believe that love is ever abnormal, perverse or sinful. I refuse to acknowledge the notion that I am a sinner by loving someone, regardless of them being a man, woman or other gender identity. Sin is, by the very definition, anything which is an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law. At an even more basic definition, sin is anything which separates you from God or his son. Jesus had but only one message, to love thy neighbor. Being a pansexual does not mean I love everyone romantically, but I personally believe that we are to accept others for who they are, and reserve judgment that is not ours to give. Animals are far more simple and less destructive than us. They are born, they live and they die, according to their physiological needs and behaviors, without all the complications we humans force unto ourselves. It’s rather interesting that homosexual behavior is found in thousands of species while homophobia is found in only one. What is truly so unnatural?
The Bible, the book many view as the foundation of Christianity, is not the true foundation of the religion. Christians fail to realize that we ourselves, God’s people, are the foundation. The people, not a book, are the stone upon which the Church is built. What is the book? Pages reprinted, rewritten and reinterpreted thousands of times by myriad men and women. Those scriptures were originally Greek and Hebrew, and various mistranslations have been found, such as Moses being horned, and including in English translations words, such as "homosexuality," which did not exist until much later in history. Furthermore, the Church during the time of Constantine chose which scriptures and gospels to include in the Bible. They had the Old Testament, and many gospels were omitted while composing the New Testament, which is collectively what early Christians chose to set as the literary foundation. The Bible is not given from God, but mankind’s interpretation of God’s word. We are faulty, imperfect, sinful creatures. Is it so radical to believe that imperfect people are capable of producing imperfect writings and interpretations?
Several months ago I went to an LGBT conference where Judy Shepard spoke. She is the mother of Matthew Shepard, who was the victim of one of the most brutal hate crimes against a gay individual in American history and lost his life as a result. Among many of the things she said, one quote still rings in my ears and resonates with me at a personal level, "If your God is telling you to hate and kill people, rather than love and accept others, then you need another religion." She was evidently a faithful woman who believes in God, but she understands that hate makes us capable of terrible, horrifying things, such as what happened to her son. Hate is not an American value, nor is it a Christian one. Another man who is not a Christian, but a Buddhist, said this which should be related to the Christian faith, "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness." That man is Tenzin Gyatso, the current Dalai Lama.
If someone lives their life making choices or adhering to a lifestyle that does not inhibit another human’s ability to live or exist, why is it wrong or abhorrent? If that behavior or practice does not harm themselves or cause pain to another, how is it sin or separating them from God? For years, I’ve wrestled with this identity crisis through historical, personal, faithful and moral perspectives, and my conclusion is sound. No commandment is greater than to love thy neighbor, and for me, that includes accepting others who do no harm and refuse to practice hate. Hatred is a poison that will harm not only others but the person in whose hand the poison is held. Love will not only help others to grow but assist in nurturing the person whose hand reaches out to accept and bring others up. In the simplest terms, do unto others what you would have them do unto you.
