Scrolling through my instagram feed, my first couple hours back in the home of my teenage years—always an arguably bittersweet day as you realize that, while you're not a child, you're most definitely not an adult—I lazily swiped past an instagram post by Man Repeller only to immediately swipe back up a millisecond later.
Pause. Man Repeller is not a site designed to repel men as the name would suggest, it's actually a brand focused on women's fashion and lifestyle, right down to the nitty-gritty and not-so-glamorous. Welcome to your new go-to for style advice, comical reads, and well-versed musings on life.
Back to the point—this post I came across had the following quote attached with a link to a Man Repeller article by Jennifer Epperson: "I've started to shift my focus away from who I 'should be' so that I can embrace who I actually am - and this includes appreciating the fact that I don't have a huge group of friends."
As a self-proclaimed advocate for quality over quantity I gave the article a good read and pondered the question of When it comes to friendships, is more really the merrier?
Social psychology would offer you an emphatic "Absolutely!" followed by two thumbs up and a link to Bumble BFF. True, social connection is a sure-fire way to turn that frown upside down and keep yourself occupied, but, again, is it the number of friendships or the nature of those friendships you do have that leads to the greatest source of joy?
I think back to the therapist of my adolescence, and while my fond memories of her are few and far between, one doctrine of sorts she drilled into my juvenile mind was this: "If you can hold up one finger and say to yourself 'I have one true friend,' then you're luckier than most."
Reading Epperson's article this idea became all the more pertinent, especially as she mentions the mainstream idea that having a "girl squad" means the more power to you (and if you've read my past articles you know I'm not a fan of cliques).
I found myself meditating on my meaningful friendships—those with whom I've divulged my deepest rooted fears, while also feeling free enough to expose my naturally ridiculous tendencies. As I went through each of these people I adore I realized that no two are alike, many have never met, and I am more than happy with the way these friendships coexist. I concluded that the quality of your relationship is oh-so much more important than the quantity and you're more likely to establish such friendships by spending one on one time.
Large groups of friends are great, and if you have a "squad" that's been by your side through all your hardships—marvelous. If not? That's great, too. All you need is that one friend you can count on for everything and anything.
Like I said, a good number of my best friends wouldn't even recognize each other on the street—and that's fine. In having different friends rather than one big gang, you open yourself up to so much more opportunity and eliminate some of the possibility of others feeling left out. You also ensure you're never going to have to choose sides in a friendship debate and you have other unbiased outlets in times of friendship crisis.
There is no shame in not having the ever-coveted girl squad and if you fall into this category, you're not alone.
As the we find ourselves in the midst of the holiday season, it's important to appreciate the loved ones you do have, rather than those you don't (they don't matter anyway).