You Put Yourself First When You Need To And That's OK

You Put Yourself First When You Need To And That's OK

Until you learn to love yourself, worry about you.
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Throughout my life, I have always worked to please everyone but there has been one person that hasn’t been pleased. Me. The first semester of this past year I focused more on making sure everyone else was happy and would ultimately lose the important points I needed to work on. There was one day where I seemed to make so many people close to me upset because I was choosing to focus on me and nobody else. There are times where I don’t leave room for myself because I try to please everyone whether it is my friends or people I want to be friends with. Always make sure to leave time for yourself or you will run yourself ragged.

When people ask me what one of my qualities is, I like to say dependable or reliable, meaning I will be there for you when you need me. But there’s a difference in dependability and being taken advantage of. It has taken some years for me to realize that some of my friendships have been people using me and it still hurts to think of it like that. I have met people who have asked me for stuff one or two times in which I have helped them but sometimes I will drop everything to help.

Looking back at it now I understand that should not always be the case.

In the movie “13 Going On 13,” Jennifer Garner’s character wants to be popular and to become friends with the popular clique. She does a project for them and the girls end up ruining her party. While this has never happened to me I can understand the taking advantage part of the nice person part of the movie.

In life, I have always wanted to impress people and whether it's by being someone I’m not or just saying I can help out that is never the way to become friends with someone.

I always give people second chances just because I know I have needed times for second chances but sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it. When I was 17 I asked a girl to prom and was convinced that she was going to say yes that I didn’t ask anyone else. To make a long story short I never got a clear answer from her and I ended up going alone. Looking back at this now I see how she took advantage of me by getting my hopes up and then proceeding to let me wait and not give a definite answer.

There are going to be times in life where people will hurt and there are times where I have been hurt and have done the hurting but what we need to realize is there always needs to be time for you. I have always wanted to please everyone and while that is something I have built my legacy on it is okay to take some time for yourself.

My college is known for having students participate in an organization known as Project Health where it is the goal to provide tips and knowledge for college students to lead a healthy and happy life. Each week they cover a different topic ranging from sleep cycles to stress relief. Over the past four years, my favorite topic has always been self-love or self-care. Last year I wrote an article about how it is important to love yourself and focus on yourself.

To come full circle you always need time for yourself to be successful. I love helping people and at times I wish there could be more of me to help out in any way possible but I do know that there has to be time and place for me. We all want to help out but it isn’t worth making ourselves miserable just to make someone happy that might not benefit from our happiness.

Throughout life, I have battled different emotions and that has made me realize that I need to see what I can do for myself rather than what can I do for other people first. I know the world doesn’t revolve around me and it doesn’t revolve around that guy who sat next to me in econ last year. There is always time and place for events so be sure to always make time for yourself. At the end of the day, everyone else can wait but the real question is can you?

Cover Image Credit: sabrinapp / Flickr

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50 Things To Be Happy About

It's the little things in life.
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It is always easier to pick out the negatives in life. We tend to dwell on them and drown out the happy moments. I asked a friend to tell me something that made them happy. They sarcastically laughed at my question then thought about it for a minute. Nothing. But they could easily come up with things that made them unhappy. Then I read them my list, and they were smiling and laughing in agreement the whole time. There are so many more things to be happy and laugh about than we realize. After all- it's the little things in life that can mean the most! Here are 50 things that make me happy. What are your 50?

  1. The first warm day of the year
  2. Laughing so hard your abs ache
  3. Freshly washed sheets
  4. Looking through old pictures
  5. The smell of a coffee shop
  6. Eating cookie dough
  7. Reading a bible verse that perfectly fits your current situation
  8. Seeing someone open a gift you got them
  9. Eating birthday cake
  10. A shower after a long day
  11. Marking something off your to-do list
  12. Drinking ice cold water on a really hot day
  13. Dressing up for no reason
  14. Breakfast food
  15. Being able to lay in bed in the morning
  16. Finding something you love at the store
  17. And it’s on sale
  18. Cute elderly couples
  19. When a stranger compliments you
  20. Getting butterflies in your stomach
  21. Taking a nap
  22. Cooking something delicious
  23. Being lost for words
  24. Receiving a birthday card in the mail
  25. And there's money in it
  26. Finally cleaning your room
  27. Realizing how fortunate you are
  28. Waking up from a nightmare and realizing it wasn't real
  29. Fresh fruit
  30. Walking barefoot in the grass
  31. Singing along to a song in the car
  32. Sunrises
  33. Sunsets
  34. Freshly baked cookies with a glass of milk
  35. Summertime cookouts
  36. Feeling pretty
  37. Looking forward to something
  38. Lemonade
  39. Comfortable silences
  40. Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you have more time to sleep
  41. Surviving another school year
  42. The cold side of the pillow
  43. The smell of popcorn
  44. Remembering something funny that happened
  45. Laughing to yourself about it
  46. Feeling weird about laughing to yourself
  47. Printed photographs
  48. Wearing a new outfit
  49. The sound of an ice cream truck
  50. Feeling confident
Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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I Would Advise You To Keep My Name Out Of Your Mouth If You Have Never Met Me

College is hard enough without having to endure drama from people you've never met.

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The first year of college is one of the most trying times for anyone. It's the first time that you're fully independent of your parents, where you have to wake yourself up for your classes because your roommate probably doesn't have your exact schedule, you eat when the spirit moves you, and you prioritize your time in any way you want. College is a time of growth, where you leave behind your 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. high school experience and have to start over.

Yet, I've realized that some people can't leave high school behind, and bring with them the petty drama and unnecessary rumors that littered the halls of high school and spread like wildfire. There is a consistent stream of gossip and preconceived notions that ruin a potential future relationship between two people, all because someone decided that a rumor they heard about someone else was worth sharing.

I understand why people hold on to the drama that is caused when other people decide to gossip. But, for the people who learn about their reputation from their friends, because someone decided to share it with them and, being a good friend, they told them what someone had said, it's hard. College is the first time where you get to go out on your own and live life as a semi-functioning adult, and no one wants to be dragged back to their high school experience.

For the people who bring high school to college with them and the people who believe rumors about someone even if they haven't met that person, you need to get over yourself. It is not fair to the people about whom you're talking. Imagine if it happened to you. College is a challenging time, the coursework is more difficult and there is no one there to tell you what to do with your time. It is hard enough to balance academic coursework with a social life and extracurricular activities, not including being able to maintain strong mental health. Although it can be heartbreaking to hear rumors that have been said, it can show you who your true friends are. There are a lot of people you meet when starting college who seem like they could be your best friends, but as soon as you turn your back, they're whispering about you. There is no doubt in my mind that my close friends would be the first to speak up on my behalf if they heard something negative about me. And that means more to me than a reputation.

It's easier said than done not to let rumors and other people's perception affect you. The difference being let it hurt you and accepting that there's nothing you can do are two very separate things. But what other people think of you is something that is entirely outside of your control, and all that you can really do is decide not to let it be known that it bothers you. You have every right to be upset if you hear something negative about yourself, especially if it isn't true or something you did has been blown out of proportion. There is no definitive list of traits that a person can have to be strong, and there is not a list of actions that you can take in order to move on from being hurt by rumors. But the most important thing that you can do for yourself is to move on. To make sure that you are happy and comfortable in your own skin. It may seem like a burden to fully accept yourself and like every single thing about yourself. No one is perfect.

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