I will be the first to admit that I am the ultimate people pleaser. Lately, I've completely forgotten how to compromise, so anyone could have asked me to lie down, strewn a mat across my stomach, and walked right over me. Things are changing now. I am putting on my big girl panties and I don't care what anyone has to say about it.
For me, part of growing up, especially now that I am in my twenties, is learning how to act selfishly. Putting myself first and making decisions that will help better myself is crucial. Of course I don't want to act in a way that would hurt those around me, but lately, I am putting more effort into making sure my friends and family are happy than really paying attention to what makes me happy.
"Selfish" most often holds a negative connotation, which makes sense. But, being selfish doesn't have to be a bad thing just like being selfless isn't always a good thing. I need to find my balance between the two, what will make me happy, but also positively affect those around me.
Constantly worrying about others' actions and perceptions is a dangerous game. Doing this quickly forced me to lose sight of what my personal goals were and how I wanted to achieve them. At a time when I am supposed to be figuring myself out and learning about the person I want to become, I grew more focused on who others wanted me to be. But, I can't be that person, and I am not sorry.
I am loving, I am loyal, and I am happy. Those are three things I never want to change, and I don't foresee them changing. But there is a lot more to me, and as I figure that out- I have faith the right people will stay by my side.