The day starts off as any - the second my human stirs, I must go to them. Clearly, it is time for them to arise and offer me the world and attention. I mean, my face is the softest thing in the world. I think I am going to outline this better for you, so you can fully grasp how my day proceeds.

1. The Human Is Awake

I have seen it with my own eyes, they have stirred! I will go and slam my head into theirs as a sign of affection.

2. Persistence

The human has not touched me yet - I am proceeding to headbutt them until they move their hand onto my face, but will shortly turn into light face touching.

3. Movement

Ah YES. Victory! The human has commenced the face petting. I will stand on their bladder and knead them to show how much I love them.

4. Bathroom Trip

The human is traveling, but they have shut me out of the place with the water. Maybe if I run on this door here, they will open it?

5. RUN AWAY

ABORT MISSION! The human has opened the door and is grumbling something under their breath as I run back into the room.

6. Alone

The human has dressed... and they are leaving? Where the hell are they going? Maybe if I sit in the window, they will come back.

7. Anger

UGH. How dare they leave me home without them. What's this on the table? The TV remote? Hate it (*hits onto floor*) ... And this too, absolutely appalling (*knocks over glass, spilling water everywhere*)

8. Yawn

Nap time. I am going to curl up into a tiny little bitty ball and wait for my human to return.

9. Click and Turn

What was that noise? Did a door open somewhere? I must investigate.

10. HUMAN

My human has returned home. I will commence showing love by throwing myself in their direct path as they try to walk. Try and ignore me, I dare you.

11. Food Time

What is that? Is that for me? Why aren't you responding, human? I will just stick my face right on in there. Mmmm, I don't know what this is, but it tastes like sweet, sweet heaven... whatever that is.

12. Play

COME ONNN. Maybe if I nudge their hand just one more time. Or maybe if I mew at them? ... They are staring (*runs toward favorite feather toy*) Hurry, human! There's no time to waste.

13. Tired

Alright, stop trying to trick me into attacking the feather. I am all done. Is it time for bed, human? You're not moving, so I will just have to get comfy right here (*sits directly on your either full bladder or full stomach*). Ah, this is just purrfect.

14. Stirring Fear

AH! What is happening? There's movement - RETREAT! Oh wait... the human is going toward the bedroom.

15. "Bedtime"

They look so cozy.. but how are they supposed to pay attention to me with their eyes closed? Have no fear (*light face touches*) ... This isn't working. (*headbutts face*) ... Hmm, they growled, but that also didn't work. Maybe if I try this? (*stands on chest and kneads*) AHH yes, the pets have started. MORE HUMAN, PET ME MORE.

16. Playtime

Alright - I bore of sitting here and letting them pet me. I need to find my thing... I swear I left it around here somewhere... Eureka! (*starts running around the room with the LOUDEST jingling toy EVER*) YASSS, kitty VERY happy.

17. Food

Man, all that playing made me hungry. I need to drink a little water with this snack - mmm, I don't like how the water dish is looking at me (*knocks over, spilling water*).

18. Quiet Time

My human seems nestled. I suppose I could curl right up next to them... it is quiet after all (*yawn*) and I am getting a little tired... Yeah, it's time. I can't wait to have all of this fun again tomorrow.

**An accurate, yet dramatic telling of my sweet little asshole's (Drogon) daily living.*