Purple Rain

Purple Rain

College & College!
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College! College! College! Those thousands of hours, those hundreds of days, and few years that flew by yet changed you are here then gone. Yes, they are! The days you are present for class but stuck in your car from anxiety, and can't get out. The days you are simply late, or cannot get out of bed. The days you are two or three hours early for class or even the all-nighters, and so on. The days you pass, the days you fail or as they say "Win some and lose some!" The days you cry, cry, and cry! The days you say you will quit! The days you question everything, yourself, your intelligence, and very basic knowledge. The days of utter darkness and depression, of what it all comes down to, and where you think it ends! Where you say, you will give up, and not just in school! The days that come out of nowhere (literally) the ones you do not see coming, and the ones that you do, the things that you wished for that finally do come your way. The days you need somebody, the days you lose someone and the days you find and lose yourself. The days you explore and find new things. The days you have to stop and take a step back, and the days you get to start again. The days your eyes are open, and the days your eyes are closed. The days of comparison the days of procrastination, the days of absolute zero sleep. The days of self-loathing, the days of $1, or negative $1, and the days of no gas and not just in regards to mindset. The days of I will not, I cannot, I should not, Oh "I"ll be back in time." The days of "I am going to fail," but you do not somehow. Thank God for extra credit because it deserves its own sentence. Syllabus week? Oh and the classes where you are just point something away from that needed grade. Not one point, or even half a point so, "blah, blah, merely, merely, up does not my GPA!" The days of refresh, freeze, and 11:59. The days of past due, due, and extensions. The days of I love my teacher, I really dislike my teacher and, umm who exactly is my teacher. The days of no class, when is the class, * we had class! The days of Mom, and Mom, and Mom, and well I love you too Dad! The days of regret, and to be forgotten or vice-versa remembered. The days of kindness, the days of forgiveness, and meeting new faces. The days you think, you will not be friends, but end up becoming your best friend! The days of rush, of tests, work, game days, and final testing days; all leading to the countdown, and days to do it all again. These are the days, the college days, embraced and endured, that do not even begin to describe what college is really like!

These are the days that prepare us for life, and in the wise words of Taylor Swift "The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children playing soldiers, just pretending, dreaming dreams with happy endings, in backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords, but now we've stepped into a cruel world, where everybody stands and keeps score.” (Taylor Swift) This is true we were getting silver stars on report cards with smiley face stickers that could smell! Oh, and do not forget the participation awards. Yet, "Here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard. Every lesson forms a new scar. They never thought you'd make it this far but turn around. Oh they've surrounded you. It's a showdown, and nobody comes to save you now. But you've got something they don't... You've just gotta keep your eyes open.” (Taylor Swift) Now, there are high expectations, and it is a cruel world. Therefore, we cannot fear the unknown. We must use it as fuel to wander and find adventure. Use it as an opportunity to find yourself. To learn, experience, and find your dreams. Always take it step by step. Let the ground shake, roar, and embrace where you are, and the heavy steps it takes to get there. You deserve freedom, and you deserve life. Live. Learn. Repeat. Don’t get lost in the dark of heart or, too high to see the truth. Somehow, somewhere, solid ground will be found. Above all, keep fighting because somehow, someway I must know, you must know, all should know, we are not alone.

For suddenly one day you will run behind that college building in your heels, with a board in your hand that dangles a tassel, and you wonder why after all that's been endured just a flying board and paper are in your hand. Just kidding! But really it should be a crown and gold paper! But you will run behind the building kneel down and look up to the sky and thank the one who made that sky, and for a moment sit in awe, and that bittersweet moment will bring tears to your eyes! Because YOU will know what you did, and what you endured and sacrificed! The things that people saw and the things that people did not see; that overall took for you to get where you are, will finally have paid off! People may say, "Oh it is school, and sure it is challenging, but you will get through it.” Yet, it is not even remotely, what is reflected on paper, or even what is reflected on the school emblem that matters all those years. Yet, what is reflected in your step! Most importantly, when you get up and leave, you are closing that chapter and realizing you are a different person. You must follow your heart and see where it takes you! Do not let this world outside break you or suck you in for they know not who you are. Know that new things are to be explored, and as you are moving on your dreams must never die! And, to those who are graduating as PRINCE so magically states...

I know times are changing

It's time we all reach out

For something new!

-Thank You so very much, To my beloved Parents, Mom, Dad, Paul, Steph and Jer, my family, friends, teachers, mentors and those along the way old and new that helped me on this road this journey! You are vital, and know who you are!

Finally- Alina R: Matthew 17:20

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To My Future Students, This I Promise You

There is no fear when you choose love.
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I write this with a heavy heart. A heart that cannot even put into words the grief and sorrow that I am feeling for those that have lost their loved ones just because they attended school one day. It absolutely breaks me that one cannot go teach the next generation or get an education without having to fear for their lives. As a future educator, I know that I could easily give up on pursuing education so that I won't have to hug my loved ones extra tight before driving to school each day. But that is not what's going to happen. I am not going to give up on my students and the education that each of them deserve. I am not going to be scared and constantly worry. So for my future students, this one's for you.

What you will learn in my classroom will not just be about academics. You will learn social and emotional skills. You will learn what it's like to talk to others about how you are feeling and be fully aware of how much those around you care. I am not going to let you forget just how valuable each of you are. I know that social skills in the classroom will help each of you become better in tune with your mental health, so why not start on the elementary level. I know that right now, you are children. But one day, you will be old enough to purchase a gun or let your mental health take a toll on you. As you grow up, you will start to notice how hard life is, and how sometimes it can feel like fighting is not worth it. But you are loved and you are not alone. That is what I want to teach you, above anything else.

I know that I am not Superwoman. There is absolutely no way for me to prevent school shootings from happening. But I will fight for each and every one of you. I will give every piece of me and do what I can to keep you safe, smiling, and healthy. I am aware that I am one person and that I do not have all the answers. But earning your trust and getting to know every single one of you will be my very greatest goal.

You all are in my prayers already. Even thought I am still two years away from receiving my license to teach, I am already praying for protection and love for each student that enters my future classrooms. I do not want to imagine trying to hide a large number of you in a closet. But if something ever happens, I will be as prepared as one can be. Your young lives come before mine, no matter what.

I am thrilled to teach you about life and the world around you one day. You have no idea how passionate I am about my future career. News reports are not going to change that. I am praying for a change and looking towards hope for the future. But no matter what, I promise that I will not give up on you guys.

Cover Image Credit: Google Images

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Why I Chose To Not Graduate Early

I needed more time in college to develop my skills through internships, learn more about my future profession, and explore what I want to do after graduation.
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As the first semester of my junior year was underway and the time to schedule for spring semester came close, I decided to look at what remaining requirements I needed for my major and minor. I was shocked to find out that I was nearly done with all the requirements. I would be done with my major and minor after spring semester and would just need to take a couple of classes during the May semester to get my degree and graduate. While it would be great to graduate early and save money, something made me pause. I didn't feel ready to graduate. Not when it felt like I've barely completed college.

My original plan after figuring out whether to graduate early or find a way to meaningfully fill up my remaining year was to add a second minor. Even then, I would still be placed at graduating a semester early; while at first, I thought this might be a good idea, I started having second thoughts. What would I do with my apartment lease if I had to move somewhere else for a job? Was it really worth it to graduate at an "awkward" time? After much debate and stress, I decided to stay for a full fourth-year and add a second degree.

Some people would jump at the opportunity to graduate early; no classes, no tuition, total freedom into adulthood. I, however, didn't feel ready. Going to college has definitely helped me to grow up and learn about what life on my own would be like, I couldn't imagine graduating a whole year early and entering the workforce. I couldn't imagine trying to find a job with little experience and no clear-cut vision on my career path. Graduating early wouldn't have helped me, even if it did mean saving money; it just wasn't' the right choice for me. I needed more time in college to develop my skills through internships, learn more about my future profession, and explore what I want to do after graduation.

Adding a second major rather than graduating early is not something I regret at all. I chose to add my double major in journalism since I really enjoy writing. So far, I am enjoying all my courses and learning more about a field that ties closely with my other major, centered around public relations. Adding a second major has opened my eyes to more career paths I can take after graduation and makes me think that I may be interested in involving journalism to my post-grad life. While my decision to not graduate early might cost money, the experiences I'll gain will help to repay that debt and make it worth it.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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