Why Puns Are Good For Your Health

Why Puns Are Good For Your Health

See for yourself. Eye am not kidding.
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pun [puhn] noun
- the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words

If you know me, you've noticed I like to slide in a good pun for every occasion. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I can be shopping in the mall or in the middle of an argument, if I see the opportunity to use a pun in the conversation, I'm taking it. Most people cringe when this happens, but I like to think it's because they're upset that they didn't think of it first rather than believe that they actually hate me for my pun (fun?) addiction. There are few times people actually laugh at the puns I blurt out mid-conversation. I like those people. They get me. What the people who cringe fail to realize, is that puns are actually good for you. Not only are they good for your mentality, but they're good for your physical well-being, as well.

The best thing about punning (yes, I looked it up, this is a real word) is that it helps indicate whether or not a person really has similar intelligence to you. If you have created a pun and someone doesn't understand it, immediately acknowledge that they can try again next time and recognize that you deserve so much better. Because of this, puns are a perfect (punfect?) way to make friends. Background knowledge is almost always required to understand puns, so if someone gets what you're saying, they're perfect for you. I recommend using a pun when meeting someone for the first time. It establishes your intelligence (and theirs) right off the bat. Most importantly, anyone who laughs at a pun is an automatic keeper. Those people are rare. Cherish them forever.

I feel very strongly about using puns in a day-to-day lifestyle. They are important. Not only are they indicators of intelligence, but they actually aid your well-being. Yes, that's right folks, puns physically increase your health. Crazy? Not quite. Modern medical studies have actually proven that experiencing humor benefits your health in that it can reduce stress, enhance cardiovascular fitness and boost the immune/endocrine systems. Basically, if you want to start living a healthier lifestyle and you're not great at keeping up the good work at the gym, just start inserting puns into your daily life and you will live forever and ever. You're welcome.

For more pun information, I suggest you read "The Pun Also Rises: How the Humble Pun Revolutionized Language, Changed History, and Made Wordplay More Than Some Antics" by John Pollack for deeper insight to the benefit of punning in your life. It's important and it's revolutionary. Just keep punning.


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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Dear Girls, You Are So Much More Than Your Jean Size

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Trust me, I know how it feels. I know what it's like to constantly think about food. I know what it's like to be driven insane trying to follow a ridiculous diet. And I also know what it's like to feel beyond guilty that 80 percent of the time I do eat that piece of cake I promised myself I wouldn't. I know how it feels to stand in front of the full-length mirror in your bathroom and choke back tears because your thighs look way too big in the new shorts that you were so excited to wear. I've felt insecure, I've felt hopeless, and I sometimes have a hard time holding my body confidently when I walk into a room of strangers.

We've all felt it.

But there are times when some of us feel it so strongly we just want to burst. Times when we simply can't handle the thought of being inadequate, unattractive or not enough. These feelings can lead us to desperate measures, and we do things we never thought in our right minds we would do. Insecurity holds great and ugly power, and oftentimes it can twist the truth. Sometimes, it can even twist us.

The first day my best friend called me and told me she had made herself throw up, I cried on the phone. I knew this girl inside and out, had grown up alongside her for the past 14 years. This wasn't her, this just wasn't something she would do. Yes, of course I knew this girl.

But at the same time, I had no idea what she was dealing with.

I didn't understand what it was like to have people telling me each successive day that I wasn't enough. That I would never make it unless I lost 10 pounds. That I didn't have the right "look" to be an Olympic-level athlete.

Day in and day out, my friend was degraded with these words and notions conceived from nothing but the expectations of society and the culture of a brutal sport.

The first words I said to her and the only words I can really, truly offer to any girl struggling with this are, "It's not worth it." Because it just isn't. Compromising your physical, mental and emotional health is not worth being the best at your sport. It's not worth becoming a prima ballerina, fitting into size two jeans, getting boys to like you, becoming part of a sorority, being a model or looking great in a bikini.

What is worth it is you.

I know that sometimes as a girl it is so hard to realize that you are more than just a body. But you are. You are more than just skin and bones. You are a million stories of where you've been, a million visions of where you want to go. You are the kind words you've said to strangers passing by, you are your favorite books, and the quotes hung up above your bed frame. You are the songs you play over and over again till the lyrics are second nature. You are the tattoo you've always wanted to get on your forearm. You are your mother's daughter.

Don't simplify yourself to just a body. You are so much more than that.

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